Monday June 5

Weight 116, calories 896. Almonds banned again at least for this week. It is strange how they seem to take over after a while. Too easy to grab a handful I guess.

Countdown: 5 days to vacation! A friend is taking DH for his root canal tomorrow so that takes some pressure off. Packing has begun including DH - I need to update the packing list he is going to use. He is staging his stuff on the guest bed for me to check and pack. Every step of taking things over feels odd. We were both always so independent.

It is rainy and cool here (again), but it looks like it might start approaching normal weather by the end of the week. I hope you have a wonderful Monday.

Liz, glad you have some assistance with errand running ! I think back to the days my DD would stage their clothes and items for packing, so I could review and modify as needed. I'm sure it is difficult to have to do that with DH. Shel..do you hike with mace or pepper spray ? Mostly thinking about wild animals, but I know I was shocked when I realized that with some of the remote walking I do, the "I no longer have my morbid obesity to protect me" from a sexual attack... careless thinking was hard to change 45+ years.

Chuck, is reprising his role as SO. We have worked through many of the issues related to my dramatic weight loss, and it is a work in progress, as most relationships are.

Yes, after so many consecutive days, during initial weight loss phase, of measuring my worth and success by the number of ounces I'd lost since the day before, maintenance was an abrupt and jarring shift... even though I thought I had planned a reasonable transition. Saying you have a five pound healthy range and living it when you step on the scale are two very different things. Letting go of the exact number within the range in my daily weigh in still requires significant positive self talk. I need to assess the number to prevent my ostrich from returning, but adjusting the importance of that number from value to information, is hard.

Gradual, onward, sustainable !

Diane

I was just think about you and Chuck yesterday and wondering where the relationship was going. Glad you are talking and working things out. Does this mean you will move or he will move back?

Sometimes I pick up a sharp rock if I get a bad people feeling --- thinking about this makes me nervously giggle. And, I have a 40 year old swiss army knife. I have been meaning to look at sprays but the bear sprays I have carried in the past are bigger than I want to carry. I'll have to look at the others.

There are mountain lions out there but they really avoid people. Black bears, too. A single hiker can accidentally sneak up on a bear and heaven help you if you accidentally come across cubs. I like to think that I am on well enough traveled trails that they are avoiding the area in general. But, that simply isn't true. They are out there, somewhere.

Thanks for the reminder. I very much have a reputation for being stubborn about that sort of thing.

I have bear-anoia. That is when you think all the bears are out to get you. Got it in AK. We had grizzlies in our yard at times. I had a bear encounter with 2 cubs and a mama. Luckily she left. It was my fault. I worked night shift. I decided to go fishing since it was still light out. I was awake during their feeding time. Be careful out there. I carry when I go where I feel endangered.

Sometimes relationships are harder than other times. Talking out the problems and opening communication always helps. We got married as children but still miscommunicate with each other after all these years. We have been on the WL journey together so that helps.

140's! Weight up a little again. I'm surprised my clothes still fit (some don't actually)!

It is a new day and I'm ready to tackle it! Got 45 minutes of walking in yesterday. Goal for today is to track all of my food, only have a protein shake in between meals if I feel hungry (and I'm sure I will) and get in at least 30 minutes of exercise. Time to get back to basics and lose some of this re-gain!

Wednesday is a big day for us, DH gets his repeat CT scan and we will find out how successful the chemo and radiation were. His surgery depends on the outcome so we are praying all looks good!

All my prayers are concentrated on good results for DH.

Do you ever look at the RNY forum? They have an eating challenge (high protein - AMAW or CAMAW). I'm participating in it this week in preparation for vacation. Maybe it will help you jumpstart a change? They don't care what your WLS surgery is.

Yes, prayers for DH. I do think of him often and checked Caring Bridge over the weekend to see when that scan is coming up. So stressful.

Good for you for getting the walk in. Sometimes motion primes my brain for change (and sometimes, not.....) I like the idea of basics.....maybe go back to a good week in MFP and copy? Or Liz's idea of the challenge for a week might shake out those sticky carb-webs. (It is always the carbs....I don't even have to ask, right? Well, except for when it is nuts.)

Yes, carbs are my nemesis, always have been!