introductions

hi I'm kerry from upstate ny and pre rny. I thought having this safe space to talk about family members who might be unsupportive was important..... I live with my partner of 13 years who is also morbidly obese....who is still active in food addiction and doesn't talk with me about my surgery, food addiction or anything remotely related..... except in generalities. i'm also struggling with coming out to my friends and family about the surgery because i have heard some saying "its too drastic.". I need to be honest with them but its a scary step.

I hope we can share our feelings honestly openly and learn from each others experiences, strength and hope. this is not a space to "bash" our loved one(s) but to try to reflect upon our relationships.

Looking forward to meeting you online!

Kerry

Hi Kerry and thanks for starting this group!

I'm Megan and I'm in Toronto, Canada. I am too afraid of surgery, of any kind. I'm completely supportive of any surgery and that includes all WLS.

My friends are lovely and want to be supportive but sometimes the comments made are hurtful and they don't even know it. 

Not one of them is morbidly obese like myself, not even obese... not even overweight. 

I struggle with sharing my diet plans with anyone since at my size I don't want the food police watching my every move. Ideally I'd like to have all people that make any un-supportive comments to wear a fat suit of my weight for just 2 days and then try to tell me what's drastic.

I do think it matters if your gf is on board to support you. She does not have to be signing up for the procedure herself, but acknowledging your desires and supporting you is extremely important. My ex was a chef and food was always an issue. She was not obese and her ways of being supportive did not work for me.

I suggest writing down everything you think you are going to need/want pre & post surgery and share it with family and friends. 

Hi Kerry! 

Thanks for opening up this discussion. I have actually been a bit down about not having support. 

My boyfriend of 6 years is naturally thin, and can gain and loose weight pretty easily. My mother is of course worried as well as my sister. 

I have spoken to them about the surgery but ultimately do not get any support. The main theme in these discussions is that I am jumping into to surgery too qucikly and that I can loose the weight if I would stop being lazy. Ultimately it is my decision but I have mixed emotions about surgery as it is. It would be nice to have a safe space to voice my concerns and wants without judgment and a bit of understanding. 

I am trying to educate them more about the procedures at the same time learn more myself. In the end it is for me. And they may not understand the reasons for my surgery or be able to empathize but anything that makes a love one feel happy should be worth trying to understand. 

 

Hello!  I wanted RNY 5 years ago but my husband said all sorts of unsupportive things about me having it.  It was like pulling teeth to get him to come to terms with fact that I was going to get the lap band to help me get healthy. Well;  that didn't happen. I did get banded but It didn't make much of an impact on my health condition as I thought it would.  I have all of the failed band symptoms and now I need to revise to RNY. This time he pleaded to me asking please don't. I'm so messed up. I want to do it in hopes of getting rid of my diabetes and other high vitals, but I don't want to do it b/c he pleaded with me NOT to. Now I feel that something may happen to me if I choose to go through with it. HELP!!