Sagging Scars - Body Image Grief Post-Weight Loss
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Dips in the Roadposted 5/19/11 1:56 pm
Hi,
I just finished watching 4 movies today - IN A ROW. I don't think I have EVER done that, well at the VERY least never on my own. I just REALLY didn't feel like going out tonight. But that doesn't mean I didn't have my share of strange emotions. I found that I felt guilty about everything today, to a bit of an extreme. For instance, I cancelled a hair appt for the umpteenth time, got a bit of a guilt trip, and felt terrible. I missed my friends little girl's concert tonight, and thought and thought about it with a pit of sadness, you get the picture. I wonder if the acupuncture I have been getting is creating some more intense emotional responses. But nevertheless, I still didn't have much motivation to do much more than come home from work around 1, pick up friends at the airport at 3, then watch movies everytime after and in between. I could diagnose it as excessive and possibly a "setback" that could be detrimental, but I don't want to go overboard. I do kinda think that it is a bit of a "dip in the road" and my head aches, which proves it isn't the healthiest activity to do 8 hours a day (staring at a screen). But I got some little things from most of the movies, two of which addressed appearance self esteem indirectly. They were "The truth about cats and dogs" and "Narnia: The Dawn Treador". Cats and dogs was about a woman who a guy is interested in, he hears her on the radio, but she hides behind a more attractive friend (tells the guy that she is her...) and gets into a jam, to avoid being rejected because she's not "outstanding". Boy, can i relate... The Dawn Treador, just spoke one line regarding a character whose temptation was to wish she were more beautiful, and her wish turned her into another person, and Aslan (who often is seen as the Christian Jesus) says "she erased herself by wishing that, and without her her family never would have found Narnia". He instructed her to be more and more her, and never wish to erase herself. I like both of these commentaries on beauty. The "Dips" in the road (hollywood/people speaking) are several other movies that sell looks alone as the 1 asset. It's not to deny they are a "gift"? But God makes us all different in fortune and purpose, and I choose to believe that isn't something he does to place "value" on us so we can "know who's "better" than another". For that sort of envy leads to a lot of pain. And the lifegiving, healing God, promotes life, help me follow in those steps, Lord, and reject the message I hear often to "erase myself". For that sure, if nothing else, is a horribly cruel thing to do as a response to the one who "made" me. I wouldn't reject an artwork given to me by a child I love, how much more, does God make masterpieces, I am, in such a way, unable to be the judge I try to be. I am beautiful, purposeful, and not "my own". I was created. Well done, Creator. Gratitude today: I am grateful today for this forum, the ability for me to write these thoughts out, and in the moments I write I find clarity in the midst of those moments. Clarity that can lead to a "pep" talk. A "pep" talk that turns the nebulous heavy judgment of my thoughts into a force for good and healing (ie: truth from the Creator's perspective). I pray it touches someone else. That would be.... - miraculous. 0 Responses to "Dips in the Road"Be the first to comment!Sign in to comment! Login Now. << Blog Home |
