Struggling and Need Support

I have been struggling big time with my depression lately.  It's been about a month now.  I called my doctor's office on Friday and had not heard anything as of today so I stopped in there.  It turned out that she had a cancellation an hour later.  I didn't have the time, but stayed anyways.  She increased my Lexapro from 20 mg to 30 mg, left my Abilify(my mood stabilizer) at 20 mg, and added Wellbutrin.  I'm not sure the Wellbutrin will work or not.  I don't know if I will absorb it.  

I went back to school last year and it is a make it or break it semester.  I got B's in two classes that I need an A in to get into my nursing program, so I am retaking them both this semester.  And in one class I've already had to miss a test due to an ER visit I, luckily I can drop a test in that class.  But I wanted to reserve that for a test that I didn't do well on.   I am also having to commute to two different campuses to get all the classes I needed.  I just found out that each campus has a different spring break, which means I do not get one!!! I had planned on going somewhere the week I was off.

And my fourteen year old is out of control at home.  At school he is just fine, but at home he has behavior problems.  Part of it is due to the medicine he is on for his depression and autism.  He was on Abilify and gained 100 pounds in one year.  Granted he also grew in that time, he is currently 6' tall and weighs 255.  His dad is 6'6" and weighs about 280.  They changed my son's medicine to Geodon.  They've tried adjusting the doses.  He is currently on 60 mg twice a day.  And it is not working!  We live with my parents and it is so bad that they have indirectly asked me to move out if things don't change.  I have no where to go!!  

I've thought of just giving up, but I know that is not answer.  I should clarify that I don't mean on life.  I am not suicidal, I'm trying to prevent that!.   Last semester I was all motivated and this semester it's like, why try I'm just going to fail anyway.  I had a really bad day food wise, but I still logged it into myfitnesspal.com.  I had double the amount of fat that I was supposed to have, thanks to eating out for both breakfast and lunch.  

The nurse at my doctor's office said to look at it as my luck was starting to change because she doesn't normally have cancelations and then have someone just randomly stop in.  

Stephanie

Oh, Stephanie!  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time!  You have so many stressful, stressful things to juggle!  AND WLS!!!!!!!  Any one of these things would be enough to drive a person crazy.  I'm really glad that you could get in to see the doc -- one piece of good luck!  do you see a counselor also?  i do, and it really helps.  meds are just not enough for me.  i know your time must be getting eatern up by all that is going on, but is there a student health program where your are in school?  if you have insurance, there should be names of mental health professionals who take your ins, and your pdoc may be able to refer you to someone.  i'm partial to social workers!  if you don't have health insurance, your city or county will have a mental health clinic where you can get treatment at no or low cost -- you probably already know this since your son is getting treatment!  i guess what i'm trying to say is:  now is the time to MAKE time for yourself to take care of yourself.  if you burn yourself out you won't have any reserves for your family or school.

sending good thoughts!  let us know how you are doing!  (((((((((hugs))))))