Introduction

I am 8 years post op from my rny.  I suffer from depression and anxiety.  For me it was surgery or suicide.  As crazy as it sounds, my weight is what ultimately kept me from committing suicide.  I had dreams of being too heavy and them dropping my casket.  To be honest, when I woke up from surgery I was kind of mad that I woke up.  I had a goal of becoming emotionally healthier as I became physically healthier.  Well I had so many comlications the first year, my whole focus was put onto the physical aspect.  Then when I got healthier it hit me like a truck!  I had hid behind my weight for so long and all of a sudden it wasn't there for me to hide behind.  And the true reasons for me being depressed were revealed.  I didn't feel worthy of being thinner and happier.  I was forced to take steroids for another complications and managed to put on 90 pounds.  I used the steroids as an excuse to eat things I should not have.  Looking back, it was self sabotage.  I have since been able to lose all but 25 of the 90 pounds.  This time last year I was in the stress center.  I am fighting hard to stay out of there now.  This time of year is always bad for me.

Stephanie E

HI Stephanie,

I am so impressed that you have lost the weight you gained.  You should be so proud.  And I also think you should be proud to have gone to the stress center.  Its hard to do it, but you just "know" when you need to go back, and dont be ashamed or anything about it.  I speak out of experience as well.  Can you share with us your post op complications?  I am just curious, sorry if its prying...

Can i ask what you did to lose the weight you gained?  I need some good advice.  I am eating yogurt, cheese sticks, salads loaded with meat, protein shakes, protein bars, beef jerky, all the stuff i had post op, plus i am on adipex, and walking 20 mins a day and playing 20 mins of wii just dance..... the scale wont friggin budge!!!!  and its ****** me off!  sorry to vent......

anyways,  we are glad you are here with us.  please stop by often.

bm

 I've had several complications.  I had seven surgeries in the first year and a half.  I had a lap rny in Dec 2002  and had a leak so I had to have an open rny the next morning.  I continued to have pain and my surgeon said it wasn't related to my rny so my obgyn did an exploratory laparascopic surgery in July 2003 .  He couldn't even get in because of all the adhesions.  I also had a hernia.  So about a year post op Dec 2003 I had a different surgeon repair my hernia and cut out adhesions.  I developed another leak so I had emergency surgery the next day.  Then in May and July 2004, I had a bowel obstruction and both had to be operated on.  From September 2004 to June 2005 I spent at least a week out of the month in the hospital with partial bowel obstructions.  I finally learned how to deal with them at home.  In January 2005 I was falsely diagnosed with Addison's Disease and put on steroids. I put on 90 pounds in six months.   I had such poor veins that I had to have a permanent IV put into my chest.  I continued to suffer from ulcers and vomited daily.  All the acid wore the enamel off my teeth and I had to get a full set of dentures at the age of 35.  I continued to have daily pain.  I get these spasms that start at the bottom of my rib cage and radiate to my back and right side.  An antispasmodic medicine sometimes helps.  When it doesn't I have to go to the ER to make sure it isn't an obstruction and for pain management.  They were never able to give me an exact cause for the spasms until January 2010.  My new surgeon did an enteroclysis and discovered I had Blind Loop Syndrome.  It's where part of the bowel becomes paralyzed and stops functioning causing an infection and can lead to partial obstructions.  In August 2010 he went in and cut out the affected bowel and basically redid the Y.  I still have daily pain, but it is not as bad as it was.  My adhesions have grown back.  I am technically unhealthier and unhappier than before surgery.  But I probably would not be here if it weren't for the surgery.  I have to take Percocet to get through the daily pain.
In July 2010 I finally decided to get real with myself and started working on losing the weight I had gained.  Having surgery in August helped kick start my weight loss.  I have been working out 3 to 5 times a week.  I am training to walk in our local mini marathon next month if I can find an entry ticket.  I didn't register and now it is full.  I didn't register because I thought I would never be able to do it, again the self doubt and sabotage played a role.  I struggle to get in all of my protein daily.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

Stephanie E

jeez louise stephanie! i'm sorry for all your trials and tribulations. suck central. i am in awe of you for living with chronic pain and illness and still kicking that prednisone weight's ass and training for the mini-marathon. i can't even get myself to walk around the block!!! hope you'll post often and let us know how you're doing! ((((((hugs))))