Is God mad at me?

I have been going out of my mind lately!  I am constantly feeling sick and am constantly in pain.  I have been to doctor after doctor and have even seen specialists and not one of them can diagnose me with anything!  Recently, I have been having serious pains in my lower left side near the front of my abdomen. I have seen doctors who claimed it was constipation. I have been to the hospital (May 10) where they did a cat scan that basically showed up normal. (no constipation) They were looking for diverticulitis. The doctor pushed on my belly where it hurt and I yelled out. He was baffled since the cat scan showed nothing. He gave me antibiotics, just in case, and  told me to see my surgeon since maybe there was an underlying infection in my abdomen near the surgical site. I saw my surgeon later that day and she saw the cat scan. (I brought the CD-ROM with me) She also said it looked normal and didn't see any underlying infection. She also pushed on my belly and I yelped. She, too, was baffled. She said for me to see a gasteroenterologist. I saw a gastro-doc this past week who didn't even examine me. He looked over my medical records, said I was a complicated case, and needed more time to review my records and to come back next week. He said he was positive it isn't diverticulitis because the cat scan came back normal as well as blood work and urine tests.......all normal.  All these doctors tell me to take pain killers for the pain. I am allergic and sensitive to most pain meds, so I really can't take any. 

I have been sick and feeling pains now for over 3 years. I lost over 120lbs, just simply from being sick. I have lost allot of hair, my teeth, and about to lose my mind!  I have appointments with some doctors...........a head ache doctor--in JULY!!!   An endocrinologist--in SEPTEMBER!!!    And I have to schedule for an appointment for a lymph edema specialist since I have severe lymph edema in my lower legs. I can only imagine how long I will have to wait for that!!!!!

Most of the night, I have been feeling those undiagnosed pains in my abdomen, and having dizzy spells.  WHY WON'T GOD HEAL ME?????   I have prayed for healing..........my fiancee has prayed for healing.........my church and several other churches and prayer lines have all prayed for healing, but I continue to suffer!!!!!   No doctor can diagnose what my problems are!  That is why I mentioned in my last post that I feel like I am going crazy because I just can't take feeling sick and in pain anymore!!!!  I am at the end of my rope!!!  I strongly believe in God's healing, but I am so afraid He is mad at me because I make mistakes. Not big mistakes, just my behavior could use some improvement.  I sometimes snap at my fiancee, (when he aggravates me!) And tonight I was frustrated and embarrassed at the grocery store because the food bill came to a little more than I had and we had to put things we really needed back. Even after putting some back, we still couldn't afford it without going nearly broke. The cashier was staring at me, the people behind me were waiting and watching, my fiancee was standing there and watching............I just couldn't take it. I was angry, upset, and embarrassed and I just said "Forget it! Just cancel the whole order!"  And heatedly walked out the door.  Now I am feeling those pains, and not feeling well at all.  Is God punishing me for my behavior?  I am trying to control it. I was just so humiliated and upset. I didn't yell or anything. I just growled it and heatedly left the store. My fiancee behaves in a similar way at times.......and nothing happens to him!  It seems like his life is allot easier than mine!  He goes on every day the same.........and I suffer most every day with some sort of pain or sickness.

Why won't God heal me when these other doctors can't (or won't)?  I know He can! But why doesn't He?  He is the only One who can help!!!!!  Please God, won't you help me?????

(sorry for the long post. I really am at my wits end and don't know what to do)  Thank you for reading and answering if you want. God bless you all.

Hello Miss kitty,    My name is Reba. I'm new here-just joined. I read about your concern. Wondering if God was mad at you.  God is a loving & merciful Father. He does not correct His children without them knowing why. The wrongs you were describing were just results of too much stress on the human mind. Not an out right offence against God or His commandments. He understands our frustrations in daily living...He's not gonna inflict sever pain on you to get your attention over something  like that. So don't think you're being punished by God unless you're living in a way to offend Him ( like breaking His commandments on how a Christian should live.)or ruin your Christian testimony.  Even then, I believe He gives His children time to repent & change their ways before He does anything serious.   Have you considered the possibility that this could be a great time to have more faith in God?  I know how awful stomach pain can be. I've had severe endom. every month of my life since I was 12 yrs old.( I'm 48 now).  Strong pain killers that make me sleep is the only way for me. Even then sometimes I'm stuffing my bed pillow in my mouth to stiffle the screams....     It's not easy to endure pain gracefuly (at least I've never been able to)  but God our Father is able to help us, & yes, even heal us. But if He chooses to not heal us, it is our responsibility to continue to have faith in Him that He is in control of our life & knows exactly what He's doing in our life.  Have you considered having the Elders or pastor & deacons of your church anoint you with oil, lay hands on you & pray for your pain? Lots of people are healed when they do this. Also, have you considered adding fasting to your praying?  These are just a few suggestions that may make a difference for you. Just remember to stay close to God. Have faith inHim, because He loves you more than you can possibly love yourself.  Your Sister in Christ, Reba