Maybe Im looking at this wrong..

but this looks like a discussion group that I am interested in, but there is no discussion going on.  So, I will just put this out there.


I havent posted before. I joined OH a month ago (i think). Ive been lurking. trying to find some place that I might fit in.

I have about 100 lbs to lose. 
My BMI is 42. 
I have no additional serious health conditions like Diebetes, no BP issues, and No Apnea. 
My weight gets in the way of being able to move my body that way I know it can move. It stops me from running. It prevents me from living the way I know that I deserve to live.

I have an appt on January 12th 2010 for my orientation with the Gastric Bypass surgeons here in Northern California (Kaiser). Its not necessarily the first step, but its pretty darn close.

Ive already been modifying my food. I have already established a regular exercise routine.  I have increased my water intact dramatically.  I have been food journalling for three and a half months. I have been watching how much sodium I take in too. I have lost 25 lbs.. (most of which I am sure is water...but I will take it) but Ive been down this road before... MANY MANY TIMES.

I am afraid of what the surgeon will say. 
I am afraid they will say that I am not qualified. They are the doctors... if they say I am not qualified then they know best and I have to trust them...but where does that leave me? I know, that Im worried about something that hasnt happened yet. 
I am also afraid that they will say that I am qualified.
I am afraid that I am a perfect match for Gastric Bypass and that we will then more forward to whatever the next step will be.
I am afraid that I will have surgery and lose the weight and get healthy. I know its crazy to be afraid of this, because it is what I want... but that doesnt make it any less scary.
I am afraid that I will get healthy and my partner will feel left behind because she is not in a healthy body.  I know that her body is not my business, but I am still concerned.
I am afraid because I have not been in an "average" sized healthy body since I was 11. What the heck will I do in any average sized body???

On the flipside:

I am excited because I am taking those steps.
I am excited because I may be able to run, jump, and play like never before.
I am thrilled to know that if this comes to fruition, I may eventually (18-24 months after surgery) be at a weight healthy enough to get pregnant and then give birth to a healthy child.
I am happy to know that I have already taken steps to get healthier without the surgery.
I am  excited to take the next steps in what will be (as corny as it sounds) the beginning of the rest of my life.
I am curious what my body will look like once I have lost 35 lbs, 50 lbs, 75 lbs... god forbid.. 100lbs.
I am excited to continue exercising and weight training so that I can get stronger.
I am wondering what kind of clothes I would pick out if I had greater choices (in smaller sizes).
I wonder what would happen if I could live longer...healthier... not be a burdon on my family or the healthcare system as a whole.

I feel so ready for this. I also feel NOT ready. I mean, I only know what I know. I dont even know what I dont know to ask!

anyway... I will quit rambling here. If this isnt the right message board for my long drawn out dribble, I am sure someone will tell me.

Hi! Actually most surgeons are just interested in your well being, if you point out to them how long u have been overweight and how many different diets u have tried, they will approve you. But your insurance has the final word.  

Please make sure you research which surgery you'd be most interested in. I am having RNY gastric bypass on 1/27th. I have been waiting for about 8 months for this and can't wait for these 3 weeks to pass. I am also excited to see what new clothes I'll fit in by summer.

Be prepared to wait for the insurance to apporve it. The person that has a great influence in this is your personal physician. So I suggest you speak with your doctor. I know everything will turn out great for you. Please keep me informed.

And yes I noticed the same thing this group has absolutely no posts and no interaction. We need to find other groups or make sure this group becomes more active. I think most people on here probably already had the surgery.

Thanks for taking the time to respond!  My insurance /  Primary Care Dr are both Kaiser Permenente. There doesnt seem to be a lot of waiting. It seems like it wont happen quickly, but that time wont be spent just waiting! I am an action kinda girl! I already do alot of things that they want you to be doing: food journalling, established a regular exercise program, and looking at the psychological aspects of why I eat...what i eat...when i eat it. I am definately a boredom eater and an emotional eater. I am slowly figuring out ways to learn new behaviors around both of these types of situations. The waiting time will be spent perfecting these new habits!
 
I have my surgeon orientation on Jan 12th. I am very excited for this first step.
I have done quite a bit of research regarding the RNY surgery - I am quite sure that this will be the best fit for me (out of the two choices that kaiser offers).

Congratulations on your surgery date! Thats very exciting. I cant even imaging the bubbling of excitement in you... I hope these last three weeks go by quickly.

I will keep you updated... and I look forward to hearing about how you are doing (especially after surgery!)