Naturally, on the drive home from today's support group meeting I thought more about Helena's question to me of "how have I changed" since my surgery and, while my answer opened up a big can of worms for us, it wasn't the true answer to her question so here goes.  Some of the ways I've changed pre-op vs. post-op:

~ I no longer hate myself.
~ I no longer see myself as a fat slob, a loser, unloveable, or undeserving of happiness.
~ I volunteer because I want to support that organization or cause and not so they will "like the fat girl."
~ When I was dating post-op, I was more selective of who I dated, whereas, pre-op if any Schmo gave me the time of day I would have skeptically  accepted because "who else would want me," but pre-op dating was very rare.
~ I look in the mirror now and see a beautiful person.  Pre-op, I avoided mirrors or would look at the image in one in disgust.
~ I am satisfied with one or two pieces of pizza. Pre-op, I would "need" to eat a whole large one.
~ Pre-op, I would not leave the grocery store without buying at least one container (often 4) of Ben & Jerry's.  Post-op, I honestly can't tell you the last time I bought one or any ice cream.  Years and years, probably 9 or since the moment I became a Post-op person.
I'm not "as much" of an emotional eater as I was pre-op because my tummy won't let me so I actually have to deal with the issues more now instead of reaching for food to comfort, numb and avoid the issue.
~ I can sit in a booth in a restaurant...and often ask to sit in one now!
~ I can attend events that have food at them and not be concerned that the Food Police is keeping a tally of what I eat.  I can relax and actually enjoy myself and the company there, whereas, pre-op I probably would have avoided such a function.
~ I have confidence and pride in myself and I definitely didn't have either one pre-op. 
~ I often smile when I put clothes on because the number is much smaller than what it used to be.  Whereas, pre-op I felt shame and sadness at having to put on clothes that were a 30-32/4XL.
~ I really changed in that I opened up myself to the belief that someone could truly love me and want to marry me.  Pre-op, I would have pushed my husband away if he were trying to date me as I wouldn't have trusted his intentions because "why would he be interested in the fat girl?"
~ I now want to be with my family, whereas, pre-op I often avoided them so I could avoid the stares or the natural conversation topic typical of my grandmother of "here's the latest diet..." or "you should lose 50 pounds..." I just avoided putting myself in that situation.
~ If I went to a bakery, pre-op I would order a cake and have them write like "Happy Birthday Betty" on it so they wouldn't think it was all for me and now if I actually went to a bakery (not sure the last time I even walked into one), I would order just a piece of something to enjoy shame-free like one cookie or one cupcake. 
~ I do not go to fast food restaurants or drink soda now and I definitely did pre-op.  Drive-thru was a my friend because I would think that if I sat in the car and ordered, the person at the window couldn't really see how fat I was.   But duh, that person is looking down at me and can probably see my entire body! 

It was nice to reflect on these changes on the drive home.  I hope they will help you and help you see changes that you make on your journey.  Jotting this down really reminded me that I'm in a much better and happier place than I was a decade ago thanks to weight loss surgery. 

Have a good month,

Kimberlee

Hard to believe that my 9th anniversary did arrive and I completely forgot!  Yet, I just wrote you mere days beforehand about it.  It trips me out to think that it's so easy to forget such an important anniversary.  I knew almost to the second it felt when my first anniversary was approaching and each year it has lessened.  Surprising.  I find myself now more stuck on the concept that a year from now will be the 10th anniversary.  A full decade of this tool and revised lifestyle.  I know all that sounds corny to admit but you are the folks that would understand.  It's hard to believe it's possible to miss the anniversary of such a life-changing event while at a the same it's equally suprising that it's been so long since it happened.  I'm forgetting that former self due to time and I'm not sure that's a good thing or not.  hmmmm

Greetings East Bay Bariatric,

Hard to believe that (1) in mere days I will be celebrating my 9th anniversary as a post-op WLS person (March 6) and (2) this month celebrates the 9th anniversary of the founding of East Bay Bariatric.  Has it really almost been a decade?

Many times over the years I have forgotten it was my WLS anniversary.  Who knew that was possible. 

If you can, please try super hard to attend our March 20 meeting to celebrate together on our group surviving 9 years.  So many groups have come and gone during that time, but we're still here...and here for each other.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Let me know what topics you might like us to discuss at the meeting.  Bring your "Magic Moments" and maybe even something you just want to toot your horn about, like trying a new form of physical fitness.

See you at the meeting,
Kimberlee

Had to blog and share with you and that - thanks to you - we are the largest group in California!!  Membership-wise, not weight-wise. =) 

We are also in the Top 10 for most members nationwide which is a tremendous accomplishment too because the groups that have more members than us are nationwide groups (i.e., Men's Group, addictions), not a local one like us.  Be proud of joining and what you have contributed to this group.

As you can see, I've been away for months now so thanks for dealing with my absence.  I hope to be a more active leader on this page.  Post some updates and light a fire on that discussion board.  It's your group too.

Hugs to you all,
Kimberlee