The Loser's Bench
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Now that I'm over a year and a half out, but my husband has just started his journey a couple of months ago I can see this topic from multiple perspectives.
I do believe that both short term success (getting the weight off) and long term success (keeping it off) are based on having a good foundation. I think that you can lose a lot if not all of the weight you want to lose even if you don't do a darn thing that they tell you to, but now that I'm more than a year and a half post op, I can see that learning to incorporate the life-style changes that provide that stable foundation is what is likely to keep us strong and stable for the long haull and that's what we really want isn't it.
For me, it's important to 'eat' my protien, and I'm able to get about 15 to 20 grams of protien in at each meal/snack. I always try to lead with aboubt 3 ounces of lean protien. Now, mind you, my DH who's only a couple of months out can't get it as much as I can at one sitting, but he will with time. In the meantime, he suppliments some with protien shakes/drinks. I would say that I average 70 to 90 grams of protien a day.
I generally do a pretty good job of getting my fluids in. I consume 64+ ounces of fluids a day. It is usually some combination of water, crystal lite, and decaf coffee or tea. When I don't meet my quota, it's usually because I get busy and forget. Most of the time, I do better if I'm drinking something where I enjoy the flavor.
I do take my suppliments daily, but have to admit that sometimes I don't get all of my doses of all of my suppiments in. Lately, I've been keeping a pill box in my purse with extra vitamins so that if I've forgotten and see them, then I'll take 'em. It's not that I don't want to, but I am terribly scattered-brained and tend to forget. This new tactic seems to be helping a great deal. I'd say that I now get 80 to 90 percent of my vitamins which is a big step in the right direction.
I wear a pedometer and I try to get in at least 10K steps a day. My husband and I are also joining a gym and will start going on a regular basis. This probably one of areas where I really need the most improvement.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
I have posted a new blog entitled "Foundation of Success". Please read the blog and the associated questions and then come join in on the discussion of this topic.
I look forward to your participation and input.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
Hi Michelle,
I understand your concerns about not being able to make the changes you need to make to have this be successful. I had those concerns myself and to be honest, I'm still a work in progress and probably always will be. I have to say that I truly do not believe that I could or would have lost the weight without the surgery. The surgery actually 'forces' you to make some drastic changes early on and you can work with it to maximize your outcome; not just with the initial weight loss, but with the likelyhood that you will be able to maintain that weight loss. While some will say "Oh, you took the easy way out." There is nothing 'easy' about WLS, in any form and it isn't a cure all, but it does give you a 'leg up' or and 'edge'. You can expect to lose an average of 60 to 80 percent of your excess weight with RNY. Because of your BMI, you might be a candidate for DS, which might be something to consider if you are concerned about your ability to 'stay on the straight an narrow'. I don't advocate one over another, but each surgery type has it's strengths and weaknesses, it might be worth looking at RNY and DS to see if one fits your needs better.
With whatever surgery you choose, you will need to make behavioral changes and if you are like me, that might be the most frightening thing because if we were able to make behavioral changes we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. I have found that during the first few months of the surgery, to be honest you aren't really making concious behavior changes, they are all dictated by the surgical intervention, but as you move past the early stages, then you will start making concious decsions that will impact your outcome. I have made much better decsions after surgery than I ever could or would have before. I think it's important to join a support group... virtual and in person. That's why I started this one and the one that meets in person in Raleigh (come join us... www.meetup.com/nc-wls) I started them, because I needed more support than I could get with my once a month meetings through my program. You will also need to find a way to identify and deal with your not so healthy affair with food. I find that it's almost like being in an abusive relationship; it hurts us so bad, but there are some things that comfort us and we keep going back. There are a number of ways to address these issues. I think getting counseling is a really good thing. Another thing that has been invaluable to me has been a program that I found called the 'Beck Diet Solution.' It's not a diet, it's a program to help you identify and manage behavior that keeps you fat, so that you can learn to 'think thin.' For me, I doubt that the program alone, would have been enough, but then the surgery alone wouldn't have been 'enough' either. With the combination of support, surgery and working on making behavioral changes, I have hope that I will be successful in the long term because we all know that losing the weight isn't the definition of success, it's losing the weight and keeping it off.
I wish you success in your journey.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
My name is Michelle. I am 35. Married with 2 kids, 10 and 8. My BMI is 51.4, 283 lbs. and I am 5'1". Yes pretty much a round ball. I have been thinking about RNY 2 years now. I will research it for a while, be all hot and heavy and ready to do it....and then it sort of drifts by the wayside, as I am still overindulging in all the things I love. About one month ago, my PCP recommended it. She said she never mentioned it to her patients before, but the surgery has come so far in the past few years she has been recommending it. She has a total of around 20 patients who have had WLS, with not one of them having a bad experience. That is surely food for thought. I guess what keeps me hesitant is all my failed attempts at weight loss. My favorite saying is "I just don't have enough will power!" My fear is not being able to stick to the plan, cuz I surely can't stick to anything now. Also the thought of never having things I love such as sodas, pasta, rice, and anything with loads of melty cheese on it, bread, etc. etc. I just don't know if I could handle that. Then I tell myself that I am sure everyone who has had the surgery probably had similar thoughts. I think an approval from my insurance won't be the problem. I have state insurance under BCBS. I have seen where people get approvals overnight and 3 to 4 days. I fit all the criteria that they want to give an approval. I won't more than anything to be more physically able to do things. My energy level is on the floor. I work, and besides that it is pretty much come home eat and lay in the bed and eat some more. My kids are growing up right before my eyes, and there is so many things I would love to do with them in my mind, but my body won't let me. I need a lot of prayer that God will help me make the right decision. I have pretty much made up my mind to have the surgery this time. I am just so afraid of failure, because I know who I am dealing with here....A hard head...LoL....thanks for being so hospitable.
Michelle
Layla,
Congratulations!!! I look forward to watching your continuing metamorphosis.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
((((Kathy)))),
I'm so sorry that you are struggling. You have made an enormous strides towards the healthier you that you strive to be. I had my surgery through Duke as well, as did my husband. He also had your surgeon, so I know that basic drill through them. First of all, you may be being hard on yourself. Secondly, realize that while the surgery will 'guarantee' that you WILL lose weight during the first year, but it will be your changes in behavior that will help you maximize the loss and maintain the loss in the long run. Sooooo.... If you aren't doing it now, consider logging everything that you put in your mouth. This helps to develop awareness and if we are honest with ourselves now, we have to admit that we had not been honest with ourselves before; we used to have ostrich syndrome and like the hear no evil monkeys we never really looked at what we were doing. So accountability and knowledge can be key here. I find that when I log my intake I make much better, measured choices. You need to be getting about 800 to 1000 calories a day and need to have about 60 grams of protien at a minimum. I like to use www.mydailyplate.com to log my intake because it has nearly everything in it and I don't have to re-invent the wheel everytime I want to log something. If you aren't moving you tail, then get yourself a pedometer and see how much you are moving; you should be shooting for a minimum of 10K steps a day. If you aren't then start working up to it. Statistics show that those who participate in support groups and exercise are much more likely to reach goal and maintain their goal weight in the long run. And remember, you are in this for the long haul.
I would also suggest that you log your intake for at least a week and then call Patrick and ask him to help you evaluate your eating to see if you can do anything differently.
You can do this and we are here. We will listen and try to help.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
I also want to be able to at least go to walmart at age 40 without a powerchair cause i am so fat i cant breath and my back is in such bad pain that i buckle at the knees from my wieght
I want to live again and be able to play and do things with my friends again
I want to live for a long time and not have to worry about whether i will stop breathing in my sleep cause my 500 pounds is crushing my lungs
and finally cause i want to like me