I am really struggling (xpost)

As many of you know, I really struggle with depression and it's been gripping me pretty hard lately. To say that I'm under a lot of stress right now is the understatement of the decade and I find myself 'comforting myself with food... A little here, a little there... but it's adding up because I have gained about 8 to 10 lbs since December. I know it's stress, but I have to say that I find it terrifying. I see my old behaviors creeping back in. I'm working on it, but obviously not doing a great job. I know that in the scheme of things my 'bounce back' weight is to be expected and with the minor exception of the tummy that returned, I have to admit that I generally like the way I look and feel, but my concern is this terrifying upward trend. 8 to10 lbs times 10 will put me right back where I was... I don't seem to be able to stem the tide and it really frightens me. 

I'm logging my intake. I'm starting to work on my Beck Book. I'm reaching out. 

I have to tell you that this (trying to maintain my weight loss) is much, much harder than losing the weight. Please don't get me wrong. I don't mean to suggest that the weight loss journey is an easy one... I just find this part of the journey far more difficult and challenging. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of identifying and modifying behaviors while you are losing the weight... When they talk about the 'honeymoon' period, it's not just about the weight loss, but also about the opportunity to make important changes while you cannot eat as much, while your body still yanks you by the short hairs when you make decisions that are not in your best interest.

I do not think that all is lost, but I am really scared.

It looks like you are using the right tools to get back on track. I am keeping you in my thoughts and wishing the best for you.  You are such an inspiration for so many. You will beat this!! Good luck.

Nicole
 

Hi Nicole,

Thanks for your words of support and encouragement.

Barbara, I sure understand where you are coming from.  I previously lost 125 pounds, (not through wls), and since have gained back almost every pound.  All was due to stress.  You MUST find a way to deal with the stress or this will always be a monkey on your back.  While I need to practice what I preach, I know what stress can do to your body.  I think learning to say no to others and yes to yourself is the key.  Slow down a little and enjoy your time here with those you love.

I also agree that maintaining is much much harder.  This time around I am writing down my feelings during the weight loss so that I can look back and remind myself of those feelings.  I do not want to go through this again. 

I told my daughter yesterday that I was feeling depressed quite often and I don't understand why.  I am happy with my progress so far, so it just doesn't make sense.  Tomorrow will be my 1 month anniversary date and I have lost 20 pounds.  I am not in a hurry to lose the weight, as I have seen the effects on my body from losing weight too fast.  I just want to feel good about me for a change.  The depression is a mystery to me. 

Good luck to you.  I hope all gets better and soon.

Dear PM,

Thanks for your support, understanding and advice.

Wishing you every success,