What's your goal weight?

I know that my Dr's weight was a little light for me, but I'm glad I went there to 'try it on' so that I know what's comfortable and what's not. I'm not entirely sure that I've found that 'perfect' weight just yet though. When I'm down in the 130's I'm much happier with my midsection, but not so happy with my cheeks, chest, etc... I'd like to find that happy medium, but I'm not sure it exists.

Hi Barbara...

This is a great post...I'm new here to this group, but figured I should chime in here...I'm having problems determining my right weight. My initial surgeon consultation, he told me I should be about 130 because of my bone structure - I am small boned...definitely small boned.  I am 5' 8.5" tall. And I am currently at 149.8 pounds. I started in February 2008 at 315 pounds. I have lost just over 165 pounds, but still don't feel comfortable here at this weight. People say I look great, but I have a hard time seeing that. My hubby said knowing what my family looks like, he's totally comfortable with me losing still another 20 pounds - they are all very tall and very thin! I know part of it is all this extra skin, once I get it cut off, it my help my perspective some - who knows?

I was able to put on a pair of size 4 Old Navy jeans - my top is bigger than my bottoms - and I bought a very pretty size 8 dress for easter that fit perfectly.  One of the few times I looked in the mirror and thought - wow...I'm looking pretty good.

I am thinking I want to see what 140 is like...and go from there...

Hi Annie,

I'm delighted to see you posting and I look forward to getting to know you.

While I'm much shorter than you at about 5' 5.75", I have a similar issue with being bigger on top than on the bottom. I wear a size 6/8 on the top most of time and a 4/6 on the bottom.

If you can wait about a year or so past your first surgical anniversary before deciding on plastics you may find that you will have some 'redraping' that will occur. I don't mean to say that everything will 'snap back,' but I think you may find that things will drape a bit better with some time. It will also give you some time to shop plastic surgeons and compare, while you prioritize what you want done most/first.

Re: feeling like you like what you see. This really takes some time and I think it's for a myriad of reasons. First of all, we are somewhat dysmorphic... we have trouble see the changes others are telling us they are seeing. I had some formal portraits taken of myself and that really did help me see what others were telling me that they were seeing. You can see some of them on my profile. The other thing that I think contributes to this issue, is that while we have taken major steps to gain control of our health now, we have also done some major damage and it can be hard to look at the damage we have done. I know that it has taken me some time to come to grips with it and to forgive myself. Thirdly, I found that I look at myself much more critically and judgementally now, than I ever did before and than I ever would look at anyone else. If I were as gentle with me as I am with you or any of my other friends, I would be much easier on me. Try to talk to yourself as you would your best friend. Congratulate yourself on all of the positives. Try mall watching... if you look at 99.9% of the ladies walking around the mall, you and I look as good or better than they. Remember that Christy Brinkley and Beyonce are anomolies, not the norm.

Re: how low to go... My Dr gave me 137 as my 'ideal' weight. I skoffed at that weight as being much too low and thought I would never attain it. I actually not only attained it, but went lower. Having got there, I wasn't so comfortable, physically or with my appearance. Now, I'm about 5 to 7 lbs heavier than what he considers to be my ideal weight, but if I had my excess skin removed, I'll bet we'd be about even ;-). At any rate, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad I went down there and tried it on. Now, I won't wonder if I should be lighter. I'll know I'm not because I'm more comfortable with how I look and feel a little heavier. You may want to do the same. If you like how you look and feel lighter, then stay there... If not, you can bounce back to a weight that makes more sense for you.

Wishing you all the best as you learn to maintain the enormous losses and gains you have made in the past year.

Thanks Barbara! I learned about this group from the OH Training on Monday...and I'm glad I did!!

About waiting for plastics...that's probably a good idea. Though military insurance will be paying for it, so I know the TT will be covered. I am hoping to get it done at a military facility in hopes that they will do more than what Tricare would pay for a civilian dr to do, since at a military facility they do not actually go through the insurance. It's an interesting system.

Pictures are a good idea...I know when I look at my before and one year pics - it's quite a difference...and I get a little glimpse and what others might see.  Oh yes, I am super critical of myself. My therapist always asks me, "if your friend came to you in this situation, what would you tell them?"  I just hate that...doesn't she know that it's different when it's ME? 

Yeah, I think it will be good for me to see how I feel at a lower weight...how I look - how I think I look. And yeah...thinking about how much my excess skin weighs is something I should keep in mind too. And you're right...if I get too low, I can always gain weight back...it's not hard to gain weight LOL.

Thanks for letting me join your group!

You know I've had a few people ask me that including the Psych. during the consult.

I've come to the conclusion that there is no "GOAL" weight for me.

Here's why.
I am 6'1" tall and "big boned". I'm not using big boned as a cop-out to be fat but I literally have BIG BONES haha. My dad is 6'5" and at 280 doesn't look OBESE in the least bit. The way my family well me and dad is structured even now, I carry my weight well. Everyone says I'm proportioned for my extreme height and bones.

I have decided that after a year or so, my goal weight is what makes me comfortable. What makes me wake up in the morning and say I LOVE ME and I AM HAPPY. I believe that I will achieve the weight I should be and leave it at that.

My goal is to be a better and healthier me.