Just joined and could really use some support!!!

Hello everyone! Sorry to barge in..I saw this group listed and thought hmm this might be helpful. A little bit about me:

My name is Kristen and I am 36, had the RNY 7/2009 and initially was successful in losing 65lbs but then started gaining it back and now am only 20 lbs lighter than my surgery day!!!! UGH! I feel like such a failure on this! I know people mess up and gain weight back, hit plateaus etc but I haven't lost weight since 2 months post op! I am in a bad spiral here. I have made some positive steps though. I joined a nearby gym(Big Sky) and like it alot. I only go 2 times a week for an hour long ZUMBA fitness class. I want to lose the fat first then work on the muscles. I hate machines! I work out then drink a protein shake from their bar.

I also started adding more fruit such as a banana each morning at work or today I had a little bowl of cantaloupe. I drink 1 and sometimes 2 cups of coffee and try to drink it with either fat free or sugar free creamer. BUT..I am still a major food addict!

Right now I am going through a very stressful time in my life and am trying to balance everything. This is making me want to eat even more! So I thought this might help, support wise. I am about to make a huge life change and move with my son to Boston(about 2 hrs away as I live in CT) this summer when he is finished with school(he is in 2nd grade). My father passed in 2010 and we are trying to have his house foreclosed on and they are trying to get money i don't have from me. I just broke up with my bf as I realized I wasn't ready to move on with him. I just was told I have an ovarian cyst but it is no big deal though I am not comfortable. I go to school take 2 online courses which are very demanding. I am a single mom and work full time. And...one more thing..I am struggling to get along with my sons father so that when we move they can attempt to form a relationship. UGHHHHHHHH! OK so enough to bore you..I really need some help! Thanks for reading this long post!

Kristen

So sorry that you are going through all that you are going through right now.  Life sure knows how to throw us curve balls and keeps on throwing them.  We cannot control all that, but what we can control is what and how much we put in our mouths.  Sounds to me as if you may be emotionally eating.  My first suggestion would be to determine if this is so.  If it is then you need to find an outlet, besides food to turn to in these times of stress. 

Start back at the basics:
*Protein first. 80-100g/day. Protein shakes again if you are having trouble getting in protein through foods.
*No drinking 30 minutes before and after meals.  
*Lower your daily carb intake.  I would suggest following the adkins or the south beach diet for awhile. 
*Start logging your foods.  They have a tracker here on the OH site. 
*Take your supplements daily.
* Seek professional help, whether its consulting your surgeon or consulting a counselor.
* daily exercise.  Walk Away the Pounds workout DVD's are awesome and have 15minute workouts.

I am a year out and just coming out of a 4 month stall.  2 of those months I went back into some of my pre-surgery nasty eating habits and not exercising.   2 of those I tried to get a grip and get back on track.  I thought I was doing pretty good.  Still didnt lose weight.  I joined Weigh****chers and am loving it.  I lost 12 pounds in a month.  I do not feel deprived.  I am getting in my fruits and veggies (unfortunately I am having to drink protein shakes due to this).  I go to the meetings as a way for me to be accountable to someone face-to-face.  

Be kind to yourself.   You are not a failure.  You can get the weight back off, but you have to put the work into it. 

Hope to see you around here more.
Hugs
Fran

Kristen, welcome to the group.  I had RNY 2 months after you.  Yes, it is easy to return to old eating habits, but NOOOOOO, don't do it.  Fran listed wonderful advice.  Do get into counselling to deal with the emotional issues, journal and log foods.  Include your son in activity, walking together is great.  Best of luck with the schooling, I am a big fan of improving your mind.

Try to attend the monday evening chat sessions here on the bariatric buddy page.  The immediate feedback helps.  We are all human and the support makes a difference.  Find a local wls support group to join if you can.

Here's to resolving all your life issues ((((((Hugs)))))).  Looking forward to reading more of your story in posts.  Post here before you consider any emotional eating, putting the thoughts down here, anywhere goes a long ways.  Start a jar of alternatives to snacking.  Pick something out of the jar, do it for 10 minutes and then reassess the need to eat.  Put ideas in the jar that you can and will try.  Walk for 10 minutes, soak in the tub, call a friend, journal, light a scented candle,  go to a different room in your place, walk a couple of flights of steps, etc.  I will post a list to share with the entire group.  Let us know how this works!!

Focus on protein first.  Even at over 2 years out, my pouch works on portion control.  Listen to your body signals that your pouch is full.  Stop at or just before "satisfied", do not encroach on "stuffed".   Increase your water intake, often thirst is confused with hunger.

Hi Kristen,

   Nice to meet you. I'm 1 year out and lost 141 pounds since my surgery (33 before surgery) We have all dropped the ball at one point or another. You are not alone. The main thing is that you are now responding in a positive way to help yourself to a new way of doing things. Fran and Kathy have given very sound advice. I agree with them all the way. Support is sooo very important. You have so much on your plate. I know it is difficult. I wish I could take so stress away for you. I am here to listen and encourage.   Mag