Time to give a darn AGAIN

Just wrote a blog, my first in a long while. If anyone wants to read it, it sums up what I have done to get back on track and what I plan to do to get on track and how far I had fallen off track.

The past 3-4 months havent been the greatest.  I havent lost alot of weight, but considering the stress that I have been under I am thrilled that I didnt GAIN any either. 

Great niece was born with alot of health issues, 6 weeks early.  In and out of the hospital and NICU. Multiple surgeries.  at 3.5 months old she is under 6 pounds.  She is getting her nutrition thru a picc line in her arm.  She had started eating 1oz every 3 hours but complications took her back to the OR on wend of this week.  She is off the ventilator at this time and is stable.  I worry so much bc they removed so much of her bowels and I am afraid of what extent her malabsorption will be.  So needless to say... can we say STRESSED!!!!

Fiance is still out of work.  Money has been really tight.  We have been having alot of problems with communication issues and arguing a lot.  He's *****y about not working and feeling like a bum.  I have been *****y about working 2 jobs and the house always being a mess and that hes been yelling at me.  Needless to say.. can we say STRESSED!!!! (we have atleast been talking and things have been better over the last 2 weeks)

Work has been another stressor.  Not sure if I am tired of working the weekend program (work 5 and have the 6th one off) or if I am just not liking where I work period.  Still evaluating this and not quite sure what to do.  I am thinking about cutting my hours back at my FT job to just 3 days a week instead of the 4.  With the possibilty of working more at my PT job or just enjoying the day off.  I dunno yet what I am gonna do about this. 

Sorry so long.  didnt realize that I had this much to say...will try to read and catch up some.

Hi again Fran,

   I've been wondering how you were doing. I've be around here again. Once in a while I take some time off. You certainly are going through a rough time. Please make yourself and your health number one on your list. I know you know this, but I'll say it anyway. You can handle the stress better when eating healthy foods and exercising. You can do this,Fran. I have faith in you.  
     Keep posting my friend,    Mag   

ty Mags.  Yes I agree that I can handle stress better when eating healthy, sleeping better, and exercising.  Besides all that the exercise releases endorphins (happy hormones), which always make me feel better.  And I finally remembered that there are things in life that I just have little contorl over.  Atleast when I am watching what I eat and exercising (just paying attention to being healthy again), I do have TOTAL control over that.

Hugs to you and thanx for giving me the little pep talk.
Fran

Fran, did the baby have Hirshprungs disease requiring the removal of so much intestine? Poor lil one! Will keep baby and all who love baby in my thoughts and prayers.
I do hope your BF realizes that if you work 2 jobs it is rough to find time for house work. Then too, if he is unemployed, why can't he do it during this time? Everything cannot be put on you to shoulder! YES stress is flooding your life right now! Please try very hard to take care of yourself during this time. You both need and deserve to do so.
Hugs to you lady!

Hey. thanx for the pep talk.  I do deserve to take care of myself.  Thats what I am trying to do.  So far it has been a good week. 

Baby had a condition called gastrocenchisais (something like that, but its where her bowels were growing outside her stomach in utero).  1st surgery was to remove necrotic bowels.  2nd and 3rd surgery was to put the intestines back in.  The last surgery was to remove inflammed/ possible necrotic bowels.

Fiance has been in charge of the housework ever since hes been off.  But the dishes are washed once a week and sit in the sink the rest of the time.  empty soda bottles sit on the counter (his not mine).  Floor might get swept or mopped once every 2 weeks.  He doesnt vaccum, I normally do that.  I do the bathroom, bc no one likes to do that.  We do the laundry togehter.  He will wash my uniforms for me while I am sleeping and such.  He does do the housework, just not at the level that I think it should be done when he is home all day.  The dishes could be washed everyday.  The floor could be vaccummed ev ery few days.  I refuse to do any of the cleaning, unless we are having visitors over.  Other than that when he does the kitchen now it usually takes him 2-4 hours.  Trying to get him to see that if he does something an hour a day, it will get him moving, keep the house looking nicer, and not be so harder or take so long to do.

Also been worried about his health because his only exercise has been walking from the couch to the bathroom/kitchen to get something to eat or drink and a 20minute walk with the dog once or twice a week.  I am worried hes gonna have a stroke or something because hes not taking care of himself.  So my goal is to get him to the gym with me.  I cant make him eat any better since hes the one doing the cooking.. but I am gonna try once or twice a hwalthy cooking night with a new recipe..

Long .. sorry.  Hope u are doing well.! how's school? hows the grandbabies?

hugs
fran

Fran, I hope everything gets better very quickly for you both! Glad to hear you do expect him to help, just wish he'd do it more frequently for both of you. Life is more pleasant when our surroundings are more pleasant, but keep sticking to your guns.

I didn't go back to school this semester due to everything going on. Grandkids are doing great! Growing way to quickly!

Hang in there lady. Hugs and love coming your way!