I am freaking out .... why?

 I have been so excited all along this journey and all of a sudden tonight I am totally freaking out, almost to the point of a panic attack. I dont know if it is finally hitting me that this is real, I start my liquid diet tomorrow and go in for the surgery 5:30 AM Thursday but I am freaking out !!! I am afraid of the pain afterwards, I am afraid of dying and leaving my kids without a mom, I am just freaking out about everything that has not scared me til this moment.... any advice would be sooo soo apreciated. 

it is normal. Lots of people worry about the operation and dying on the table....and it's really not a common occurence but worry goes on anyway.
Know you are going on a journey to a life where you can enoy your children, be active with them etc.
I wish i'd done this years ago.

 Thank you CIndy, you are right... I am feeling better today , I think the panic passed for now :) 

 I know the feeling. I'm about 4 wks past my surgery. I worried about the same things too. Really... it wasn't as painful as I thought it'd be. (Trust me, my threshold for pain is almost non-existent lol). The incisions were a bit sore but not too bad. I need only major pain meds for first 2 days (I was in hosp for 2 nights. By 3rd day, Tylenol worked for me in keeping me comfortable.
Just think about this... you're starting a new positive journey in your life and your kids & family & friends will get to see you walk it... The unknown is scary....but a positive unknown is so much greater than an unpositive one. I spent my liquid diet day making sure I was stocked up on broth & sugar-free jello, etc. Doing some basic cleaning that I know I wouldn't be doing for a while afterwards... Keeping busy helped...getting out of the house helped. 
As for the surgery...I'm sure you're in good hands.

Thank you so much, it really does help to hear from others who have been through it.. I went through all the liquid diet last night, was in the bathroom all night from drinking the citrate stuff from hell and went to bed at 8PM to be up by 4 am for surgery , 9:30 PM phone rings and the doctor had a family emergency and cancelled my surgury UGHHH All that for nothing.. I am so frustrated.. .now I have no idea when the new surgery date will be. Thanks again for responding.. 

I replied to your above post too Becca.  These feelings are very normal.  I wish you all the best and lots of soothing self talk in the time as you wait for your new surgery date.  You will have more energy to be the best mother with less of your body.

Take multiple deep breaths this weekend.  Know that this is for the best, you want your surgeon to be thinking of your health, not his family member's health during your surgery.

i felt the same way. had mood swings and depression the week be4 surgery and my surgeon meeting with me right be4 my surgery made me feel better. and i just tried hard to relax and did meditation, pray, and do anything i could to get rid of the feeling and know that i was doing the right thing.

Sara