Just saying HI and updating

Hi all,

I don't come online that often but just wanted to say hello. I am almost tow years out and have lost 178lbs I went beyond my goal. I am staying at a regular weight now which is good I did not want to be too skinny but I guess I am, down to a 6 or 8 depends on the store. I am pretty tall so I guess I look kinda skinny. I have dealt with a little body dis-morphia and a little depression over hanging skin but not so extreme. I am able to bring reality to my forefront so I don't get lost in my own head. I am very healthy and enjoy the new energy level I have.

I am still focused on getting my degree I have one year left then I am done. I have been considering going to law school but I am still not sure because of the cost. I hope my career will finally advance once I finish my BA then maybe cost wont be such an issue.

I attempted a relationship but it ended and I have to say I was not in love with the guy. I was attempting to do something different try a guy I wound normally not date. I have not had many relationships because of my size I know so now it is very strange for me to socialize with men. Everyone now assumes tall, skinny, and pretty guys are falling at my feet lol. The truth is most guys think I am out of there league so no one ends of asking me out. So I lose all the weight and I am still isolate irony. I am still a little shy myself because I know whats going on underneath my clothes.

I have been feeling a little melancholy after the break up. I wonder sometimes was it because of my body sagging skin and deflated breast that lost his physical interest. Even still I was not mentally interested in the guy and wanted to break up after two weeks. I guess it just tapped into my own fears about my body and someone accepting me. I really don't think my sadness has anything to do with the guy. I guess I have more work to do with accepting myself.

So I guess life has not change much  still working on advancing my career, finding  a love life, and motivating myself. I still workout 3 to 4 days a week and hope the that the weights and cardio will tighten some of the skin. I don't have that much sagging skin but it is enough to make me uncomfortable. I am thankful for my health, job, my beautiful little girl, family, and friends. I definitely don't want to go back to over 300lbs so sagging skin and all I am content with being a smaller size. I did not start this journey to achieve a look or specific physical appearance I really started because of my health concerns. I was pre-diabetic and unable to lose weight. I also had other complication with my morbid obesity like knee and back problems. I think me getting into the dating arena and all the compliments has kinda of sent my objectives in the wrong direction which has been all about physical appearance.

I am not saying anything is wrong with wanting to look nice I just don't want to forget why I began this journey and not become so shallow. Anyway I digress life is no picnic. I know women who are smart, great looking with and without weight issues and still can't  remedy the single issue. I never wanted to be a statistic African American single mother or educated single women but I think I am going to stop looking at the statics and accept my journey.

Congrats, you have done amazing.  Rocking your tool friend.  Keep working towards your educational goals, the man thing will work out when the time is right.  Have you posted before and after pics?  Love to see the difference.  Hugs

Yeah the pictures are on my page

Checked them out, looking hot.  Congrats!!

Hello!!! Im new to this group. I ran across your post. My heart goes out to you. You shouldn't feel this way at all...
I think. YES, get rid of the statistics and keep on with your journey. Also keep on with your education. I don't think you will become shallow at all. All of this is still very new to you and sometime it can be overwhelming. Have you though about plastic surgery?? I hear alot of ppl do that for the sagging skin. When I get down to my goal wt, I don't know if I would get plastic surgery. I know I will have saggy skin, I have some now, lol.  My therapist told me that after you lose a certain amount of wt you will start to get depressed because you are losing the old you and turning into a new person. I don't know if that true, I really don't see a new person yet, smh.

I think you should start accepting yourself more, because if you don't accept yourself. No one else will. CONGRATS on your journey!!! Keep up the GOOD WORK.

LYNN

Thanks Lynn,

I have look at the cost of plastic surgery and can not afford it. My insurance does not pick up plastic surgery so I would have to come out of pocket for the anything I would like to have done. I hope to be making more money after I graduate but now it is not even a possibility.  I have been thinking about some counseling to help me navigate the new me just have to work in the time with school and work I don't have much of that. I put things in prospective pretty well I just had a little bit of a shake up with this break up thing. I think break ups make all people a little introspective and sad.

Good luck on your weight loss journey having a therapist I think is really good. I wish my medical plan would have supported that. When you have lost over 100lbs and your breast look like a 60 year old your gonna run to the arms of a plastic surgeon lol. I can laugh at it but it makes you feel less womanly when the girls go south and shrink.

I totally understand about not being able to afford the surgery. You look like a very hard worker and a determined person. Just keep your head up and everything will come around. I can understand not having enough time in one day. If you have any days off, you can see if you can get you a lil counseling. But if you can't this forum can help you a little. I love this website. If I need to vent, I can. 
 I have been married for almost 13 yrs, and our marriage hasn't always been  perfect. But I do know from pass relationships, how break ups can be. Before I met my husband I was in a 5yr relationship. I had met this guy when I was about 16yrs old. It was a CRAZY relationship and when we broke up (I just had to leave him alone), it was VERY HARD. He was very controlling (hope i spelled that right). He was verbally abusive, etc. One time he told me, NO ONE WILL WANT YOU, YOU ARE TOO FAT!!! So you just need to stay with me. The messed up thing was I BELIEVED him, SMDH!! Now, I don't regret the relationship, because it taught me my self worth. He didn't deserve me at all. If a man can't respect you and love you for WHO you are, and have your back thru WHATEVER you are going thru. Then he doesn't DESERVE YOU...

Girl, I don't need to lose 100lbs to have my breast to  look like a 60yrs old. My girls have always lived in the south, LMAO!!!  Now they are shrinking, that going to be HARD. My hubby understands both of our bodies will change and I think he will be alright. Now me dealing might be another story, because I haven't got there yet. If you ever need to vent or just need some support, I will listen...

Take Care and  be Strong...

Lynn

Thanks Lynn,

It is awesome you and your husband are taking the weight loss plunge together. Your support is awesome I appreciate your responses. Sometimes we need an outside voice to affirm things.

P.S. I am the worst speller ever so np.

Tarcia