How does one deal with the love of food in this process?

I would like to hear from anyone on how they worked through putting their love of food in the past.  How did you move past your obsession into the new life of only a select group of foods.  I now enjoy an occassional glass of wine or a one-two drinks with a meal and and sometimes a cordial after.  I do this on average once a month and usually just a glass of wine.  And of course I enjoy the rich stuff.  The new diets I've seen are quite a drastic change... I welcome any comments.  Thanks in advance for sharing.

Simply I decided my health was more important than my obsession with  food....as for alcohol... I have 3 kids I never have time to  breathe....

Thanks, Tammy.  I admit to being powerless over my addiction.  I will be praying frequently to be relieved of it.

With your new, and smaller pouch, you will not have room for some of the things that you struggle with now.  I find that highly sweet and fatty foods do not settle well with my pouch.  The protein more than fills me up for some meals.

I had the hardest time separating drinking fluids with my meals.  It was a habit to wash my foods down with liquids.  I now, sip on water before eating and do not drink much with my meals.  Following this allows us to remain full for a longer time and our body to realize that we are satisfied.  Slowing down eating helps, put the utensil down between bites.  I use a salad size plate for my meals, visual deception, looks like I still have a plate full, and I do not finish all that is on the salad plate.

Thanks for the info, Kathy.  I was wondering about fluids as you state.  I like to drink with my meals and view that as another big adjustment.  Did you have any difficulty chewing food more thoroughly?  And... how was the transition right after surgery... fluids to puree to solid?

Hi,
   Kathy is a wonderful support and full of excellent advice. I count her as a real blessing in my life. (As well as so many others in this group.)
  Every doctor is different w/ different rules. Mine is no drinking w/ meals or 1/2 hour after.  I'm only 4 months out so I am not giving any info on staying away from trigger foods long term. I rarely have a feeling of hunger, but I know that will change in time. If I get caught off my food schedule I don't realize I need to eat until I get weak and shaky. I'm really trying hard to stay in my routine, but sometimes life happens. The hardest thing for me to this point in my journey was learning not to drink water  w/ my meals. There were times I was wanting tha****er sooo bad. I accidentally drank some one day out of habit and it didn't set well at all. But now I am adjusting fine to it and 1/2 hour is not long to wait to have appropiate fluids. Maybe some day, when I am out a year or 2, I might get brave and try a few sips. We are all different and respond differently. Good luck on your new journey.  Keep posting. Great questions.   Mag  

Mag,
Thanks for your input.  You state something else I've been thinking about, as well... the routine and sticking to it.  Your comments are a big help. 

Hi!
 
Thanks for posting this, I think that you raise a very brave question and a complicated one! I am scheduled for RNY surgery in August but have considered "what to do" for at least 10 years.  If I am honest with myself, I originally wanted to avoid WSL (and true lifestyle changes as well) so that I would not be restricted and could continue to eat what I want / when I want.  I also think that somehow deep down  I also knew if I did the surgery before I was really ready to make other changes, I would not be successful long term. 

By ready, I mean understanding myself more and why I am overweight; being ready to deal with some of that (which for me is more of the "head stuff") and putting my health and well being up the priority list. This is hard work and takes time and perspective.  I am trying to focus on wellbeing vs weight which is a change from the past.   

The thought of having to give up the comfort or security of certain foods was and is scary.  Not being able to go out and enjoy a meal was also a fear.    I could not really articulate that feeling before but now realize part of this feeling is my emotional attachment to food - the "comfort blanket".  We may need to give up some foods....at least temporarily. 

I have not had the surgery yet and am certainly no expert but I think we need to give ourselves permission to grieve the change / loss of soon not having certain foods (or quantity of food) when we want / need it. 

I experienced this feeling about 5 years ago when I learned that I am allergic to milk products and to wheat.  I had to learn how to give them up / limit.  For an ice cream lover this was very difficult! I almost felt panic at being told I could not have these foods.  I remember denying that I could not eat them (so I ate them and felt sick!) and then I ate lots of the alternative foods instead. 

Now I have accepted it and expect I will experience something similar after WLS.  Maybe you could prepare ahead of time by giving up a food or drink that you will not be able to eat post-surgery.  You may realize that you can choose to give it up because you are more important!

For me, the relationship with food is a focus as I realized I need to address this for long term success.  We all have different issues but talking about it with a group or coach or counselor may help.  My issue did not happen overnight and unfortunately won't go away that quickly either.   Asking for help has been a challenge but now I am doing it!

The plus from what I have read about WLS is that we can't eat as much as before and also won't be able to eat certain foods or may experience dumping.  I have read over time we will stop craving certain foods, especially sugars / carbs.  Which is great!  

I have also read that we can start to eat "normally" after recovery but this will take some time.  I am thinking of this time as an investment in myself - may not be "fun" but worth the result!  

I think we are all different in terms of how long it takes or how we react to certain foods.  But in general, over time I think we can enjoy the foods and drinks that we like (but may find that what we liked or wanted before - we may not even want  anymore) but the pouch will help restrict the amounts.  LIke an enforced "everything in moderation".  Long term, I know I need to give up some foods and certainly the quantity in order to maintain a healthy weight.  So even now it is a choice between the wine and the entre choice as the simple fact is (that I also wanted to deny) we can't avoid the numbers.  Too many non-burned calories = weight gain.  Darn it! 

My surgery is in August and I am trying to make diet and other changes before hand so post-surgery won't be such a shock and to try to build a base for changing habits.  One step is to try to follow the post WSL guidelines as much as possible.  Fortunately I like protein..not sure about the shakes yet:

I am also trying to think beyond the first couple years as have also read it is easy to regain once we are physically fully recovered.  So I am trying to change habits, have more balance and address the head issues as well as the hips - we shall see. 

Wow- sorry I wrote so much.  It is helping me to share!  

Wow Kathy, What a wonderful post. You have done a great job preparing yourself for your new life. You should be very proud of yourself. Pre-surgery I gave up Pepsi which was in reality the love of my life. I gave up fast foods except for McDonald's which was my 2nd love. Now McDonald's smell terrible and no way I want to eat it. Keep up the good work.   Mag

hi Mag, thanks for your sharing!  So great to know McDonald's will smell terrible to me soon!   I am still preparing, i am a work in progress to be sure.  I cannot believe the feeling of relief at being able to share and know there are others out there facing the same challenges.  These past few months are the first time I have ever shared or talked about any of these issues.  You are also doing great keep it up! Kathy