Happy Belated New Year and just saying hi etc and a NSV

Okay i am catching up on the boards and posting replies to people's posts and reading them. I am so busy i dont get much time for the boards anymore honestly but i make it a point to visit and i know where i can find some support: here. I did break down and buy scale batteries because i was almost having panic attacks, BUT i have maintained only weighing basically 2 times a week with it. got on to make sure it worked, did my offical the next morning and i get to weigh again on friday. i stare at it and wonder but know it has nothing to do with who i am and i am actually following the rules better without the scale. today was my first bad snack. i just had to have it, and i ate 1/2 of it. struggling to get my water in though. getting 1/2 of it in. gotta fix that right now. going to buy some splenda this week to make it easier. things are going amazing. anxiety is up in general but i am happy and close to relaxed. i am not totally worried about surgery but am going to talk to my counselor and have her help me to calm myself when it comes to the moment of surgery and being in the hospital. i have some things i am doing on my own to make my anxiety less. We go for insurance approval in less than a month. What an amazing fantastic journey this has been. i am so proud of myself but know i have a lot further to go. I have the willingness and desire to, which was never there before. Hubby is being really supportive too. he says he still wants the surgery but he eats the leftovers off my plate :( so i dont see that happening for quite a long time. gabby is doing okay. moods come and go for all of us. school is back in session, will only have 1 hard class and i have my own tutor: my hubby took the class already and got an A.
Also i was sitting here relaxing by the computer and i happened to look down at my body............................ in my pj's............................................ and i was crossing my legs! Mind u it may not count because im not sitting straight up, i am leaning to the side so my legs arent pushing against my belly, but with my thighs the size they were i couldnt even do this that i know of. i am tickled. i havent done any measurements lately but i will soon. i need to set a routine of when to do them, every 2 weeks, every certain day of the month, etc. I don't know. also am getting my exercise in. protein in (but i dont count my grams yet just guestimate) and just discovered orange flavored crystal light. i also found a song called my hallelujah song by Julliane Hough. its country but look up the lyrics it rings so true of the journey we are all on, and could for any journey actually. but i have to go wake gabby up. she wanted to take a nap and ryans going to be home in a second from physical therapy for his back. i will try to post more replies later.   p.s. my weight said 296 on tuesday which is 65 lbs of weight loss! 

Sounds like all in all you are doing great...and 296???!!!??? YEAYYYYY!!!!! Crossing your legs??? YEAY!!!!!! You are doing great lady! Any ideas on when your surgery will be yet?

Great job on getting off that 65 lbs!! That is incredible!

When I saw the surgeon he said late spring was his best guess of when i would have the surgery. We go for insurance approval after my Feb 1st appointment, right around the corner. The nut insists insurance won't deny me (caresource). Everyone has been great and i am almost ready for surgery with some tweakng of some things here and there. I will let you gals know as soon as I get a date! Thanks for the support. I really take this stuff serious now and think before i do things and push myself to exercise even when i dont want to. i want to hit 270 range before i go under for surgery. maybe 280. i know its pushing it at this point, but its nice to dream of what that 2 week liquid diet could do for me in combo with losing up to 5ish lbs a month or so. i wont be upset if i dont hit it i just wanted to hit it because thats what the one nut i dont like said i would be at at 3 months out of surgery. just want to prove her wrong. LOL. Thanks again for writing back! For once my meds are helping me lose weight and are speeding up my metbolism but its not all that obviously. i can look, smell, food at it doesnt bother me anymore. can walk past the pop isle, past the goodies we all used to know, and think i wish i could have one but just walk right by and say thats not the life for me. do you want my husband to call you or someone else Patrece when i have the surgery? i dont want anyone to be worrying about me even though im not totally active on the board and just ramble alot.

It won't be long now...Spring is just around the corner really! And yes, I would really appreciate it if there is someone who could call me. I really appreciate knowing my clutch is safe! (Momma hen here..lol).

Your posts here mean as much as anyone elses do. Every single member here is an important member of this group to me.

You are doing so good. I have to say, I am quite impressed with how far you have come since joining our group. When you first came you were very negative (toward yourself mostly), and I can't ...was something you used alot. Now you are much more positive and realizing "oh yes you can!" Lady, you are like a bud that is blooming for all to see!

Patrece, you have been my inspiration in part besides a lot of other things. Everytime u posted something about making the next right decision or ways we could change or how to use the pouch in the right way, i took it all in. i learned all i need to know mostly from this website and ive done alot of soul searching too. finishing my book, writing gabby a story, enjoying my life, trying to live with no regrets and let people know how much i love them, come to terms with the idea that i will survive surgery and i am in good hands (God's and the surgeons) and that like you said i am capable of doing this. some things were baby steps other things i jumped right in. but my outlook has really changed since ive seen the pounds come off. i still get disappointed and have days where i throw 700 calories into snacks and hate myself but the big temptations and triggers have, for the most part, been tamed or accepted that i cant have them. I am taking care of myself is what it all comes down to and I feel so much better and actually like myself! 
I will get your info when its i get a date and have hubby call you. if there's no reception in the hospital then it will be on his way home. i feel iffy about staying 2 hours away by myself basically the whole time except for the day of and day of rlease but i know it should be a short stay and i could use the time to rest and the peace and quiet. only other thing i am concerned about is that i have had some bad side effects to medications but its mostly mental health ones. well better go. almost time to get gabby on the bus.

I am soooo happy that I can be of help and support to you in this journey!
We all go through struggles at times with out choices...not just pre-op either. So know you aren't alone. You have accomplished more pre-op than some do post-op, because they refuse to change the bad habits.. so be very proud and very happy with yourself. I am sure proud of you.

Looking forward to hearing the "I have a date!" announcement!
Hugs

thank you! :) i have realized that i need to be in this 100 percent to save my life and get the best results and to not regain the weight. like i said u were and are a big help! i cant wait for that announcement either. 3 weeks til we go for insurance approval. should i call and bug them the next day after my final appointment to make sure they are getting it ready and sending it to the insurance? i dont want to get lost in the mess of dealing with a giant company like cleveland clinic.

I usually recommend giving it 2 weeks. Then if you hear nothing...become the squeeky wheel.

Thank you for letting me know I am making a difference in your jouney. Its good to know my efforts are doing good for others!