EH....

Ok, Im HERE! Been um a few weeks?.. lost track.. personal moments at home needing my attention and no time for myself..

So Still waiting, still readfing, Stresses, going through depression.. its ok, it happens .. I will get over it, til then I am a hermit and dont want to do anything.. my weight does contribute to it.. like why bother..all I am gonna do is be in pain.. or tired in less than 10 minutes..

So today I pretty much stuck to my bedroom and napped off an on all day.. heaches.. yeah had them too.. and my other chronic illness that flare up decide to come knocking with out invite.. ugh.. SO.. my sanity is ...loose..lol...

Anyways.... got 15 more days til I see my Dr for another pre surg. visit and I should have my Date then... DAY ARE SLOW for me right now been waiting 7 months....

Oh then my mother... I really do not relish talking to her alot of times, she makes me stressed in less than 3 minutes, I still talk to her nomatter what, cause one day, I wont be able too and it may be a day sooner than expected.., but.. again today.. states she dont want me having this surgery and feels something wrong is going to happen and I am not making a good choice.,. only to retaliate against the fact she recently made some of her own medical decisons that was irresponsible..ok another story in itself right there..

SO.. I am trying to read posts, catch up and attempt more sleep.. if I dont post alot today/tonight, give me a week..lol.. I will be posting as much as I can.

I have missed this place and being here.

Sorry for the long update of nothing special..lol..

huggs to everyone!

Tammy

Hey Tammy...
Take a deep breath and just try to let the stress release a bit. I can relate with how you are feeling. Have had my go round with it. Please try to find some time to take care of you and your needs, including your naps. Try very hard to not let your mother influence your wants and needs. I am sure she means well, but that doesn't always make it pleasant does it?

Hang in there lady! Take care of you. Thanks for checking in with us. I have wonderd what happened with you.

Big comforting hugs coming your way.

Thanks Patrece.. I dont want my mother to worry, and nothing I say is going to fix her opinion away from judging this surgery already.. maybe afterwards she is change? hoping..

I remain on limited comversations with her.. and there is a demand of wanting to be beside me in hospital.. all honesty.. I rather be alone.. just husband ..from my understanding I wont be awake much the first day....and I live 1 hr from hospital.. sometimes I wish she never knew.. is it wrong of me to think this way?

Honey...it is NOT wrong at all for you to feel this way. You know what will be best for you, and you need to let her know this in a kind but firm way. Maybe just tell her you will be sleeping all day the day of surgery, and IF you are up to it the next day, you will let her know if she can come up.

If my mother had been alive, I'd never had told her. I know she would not have been supportive of me. You have to take care of you, and do what is right and best for you. There is NOTHING wrong with that.

I hope your mother will honor your wishes and let you be with your hubby at the hospital without her coming and stressing you. You will absolutely need to rest and need a peaceful and calm atmosphere. If you have to tell the hospital not to allow any visitors except your husband. Just look out for your best interest.

Big hugs and lots of support coming your way.

I have talked to her recently, to nicely tell her, to wait the first day etc, she blurts the " oh im not important to you anymore" UGHHHHH I wanna rip my hair out.. she is going through the needy phase and then crying her eyes out.. then my family asks me, whats wrong with me why did I treat mom this way.. I didn't I wasnt even mean, I even told her I would love her help when I am home.. But.., here is the reality of my mother ; she is 1/2 blind, severe diabetic, morbid obese, sleeps 3/4 day away from medications and health problems, and there is alot of those... I end up taking care of her more than she realizes and she is not able to do this.. Im made to feel like the bad guy.. my family complains about her, but I am the one who steps up to the plate and handles the situations like I am the mother an she is the child.. crazy this is.. and when I do,.. Im so wrong, they whisper and hush hush talk.. like WTF! ..excuse me,, but thats my thoughts.. And you know, your right, I can have no visitors.. hmm.. seriously thinking of doing that " no body knows your there" paperwork.. I am sorry your mom is no longer with you, this is a choice that we know effects us entirely more than the non obese can imagine.. I do not need negative surroundings esp now..
I wish I can have all you here..lol.. would be so nice. better change of support and hubby could use assistance.. :)

Thanks for listening, and the huggs and support!

Huggsss !

Tammy, love to read posts from members.  Doesn't matter the length of the post.  I sometimes get diarrhea of the mouth, then missing for a bit.  To see what I have been up to, read my reply to Patrece's post, looking for me (below).  It is easy to get involved in things, letting life overtake us. 
Do what you can during this time of waiting.  It seems like forever when you are waiting, in hindsight, the pre-op time just flew by.  So has this last year since surgery.

Sharing our day to day stories is good for us.  Come update again when you can.  I anticipate a post one of these days that insurance has approved your surgery and that you have a surgery date.  In the meantime, take this one day at a time.  Enjoy the fall weather, this is my fav season.  Crunching through the falling leaves is great.  Hugs

I am trying to keep busy Kathy, pretty much I get no time to think right now so I am good so far..lol.. I did read about your latest escapades.. busy too I see.

I have been approved since begining of Sept.. I posted it.. but isnt the approval good for only 30 days? or did I get that wrong? 
I gained some back.. :(    not past my starting weight thought which is good i guess.. and i go see dr oct 18th.. praying for a date then.. 
 Fall is my fav season and so is spring.. love the colors and taking picture when I get the chance.. I would love a new camera to do more pictures with.. someday.. my dream of a canan rebel will be in the making of a near future..lol..