me again

sorry it took me so long to write back. ive been staying up late, etc but lazy at the same time. things are going better actually, and one dr realized gabby is showing signs of kid OCD. no meds for it but changing in the way we handle her i guess. not sure at this time since he hasnt added it to her diagnosis but is watching her and talking to her more during this program she is in for a few weeks. anyways i am really tired but i appreciate everyone writing back. i was doing good and had gotten down to my lowest ever 311. but now the scale says i am back up a few lbs heavier than at my last appointment. i know better than to weigh at night but i wanted to check. so i dont know. i have the journal printed but am still struggling to use it and i have no clue how not to drink with meals or how to make meals last at least 20 minutes including shakes. i was going to make a seperate post but maybe smoeone through this post can offer me some idea or something. i dont want to make them mad at my next appointment by only trying a few times and failing. plus i just can't seem to beat these changes into myself. still having trouble exercising but eating better. walked around the mall tonight but i guess it was worthless. i dont know. still writing in my book. not sure what else to say. trying to make these changes but it is the hardest thing ive ever done. ya know??

Hello, my name is Marla an I am from New York, I read your story and can definitely feel for you, I too find certain things more difficult, than at other times or situations.  I know exactly what you mean when these changes start for me after Oct. 5th that is when I have my surgery for Gastric by pass. I am impatient for it to get here, yet I am scared, that my weakness that has placed me in tis situation won't be under control.  I ralize after the surgery I will have no choice n the matter but follow the game plan or be sick all the time and I do not want that.  Before surgery I have lost thirty six pounds just by cutting back and walking more than I have before. Walking has been very hrdfor me
  If you want a buddy, just keep writing me and I will be your buddy from New York.  See Ya !

It can be very hard to not drink with meals... I still have moments it is difficult. But i have noticed by eating slower, I do not get as thirsty.
I struggled for a long time on eating slower. Then i got these eating tools that help me so much. You may want to consider getting some, or using a timer between bites. But the eating tools I find easier. Here's a link to them if you wanna learn more about them:
http://www.cwlss.com/helpful-products/ (this link also offers you $2 off the utensils)

And by the way... waling around the mall was NOT worthless. Every step is a positive one. Please be kinder to yourself and give yourself credit for every little positive you accomplish... you deserve it! There is NO EFFORT in the world that is worthless ever! Every little effort is a move in the right direction and is a wonderful thing!