Hello Buddies!

I apologize for my extended absence.  Unfortuntately, it has not been due to my being busy enjoying my life.  It has been because I have been stuck in a hole of depression.  Also, I have felt so ashamed about my food choices and resulting weight gain.

I made the decision to wean myself off of my meds at the beginning of the year.  The high of losing so much weight so quickly left me a bit delusional.  I thought I could take on the world.  I thought I could free myself of all illness and medications.  I underestimated the grip that the illness of depression has upon me.  DUMB DUMB DUMB

The good news is that I recognized that I needed help, saw a doctor, and started back on meds this week.  I am feeling a bit more stable already.  I just hope and pray that I am feeling more like myself within the next couple of weeks.  We are leaving for Disney World on September 3rd!!! 

I was so miserable when we went to Disney World in 2008.  350 pounds + 90 degree temps + tons and tons of walking for 8 days left me in pain from head to toe.  I felt like such a burden to my family.  I left the parks many times alone because I felt I was slowing them down or keeping them from having fun.  I spent many times alone in our hotel room crying - no, SOBBING - and hating myself for the condition I allowed my body to get in.  To sum it up, IT TOTALLY SUCKED!! 

I still have a way to go with my weight loss.  I need to get back on track with my food choices and exercise routine.  I am positive that 230 pounds + 90 degree temps + tons and tons of walking for 8 days will be painful, BUT I know that it won't be even close to as prevalent an issue for me this time - THANK GOODNESS.  And I will do anything I can to make sure the word "miserable" is never a word that I use when describing a trip to Disney World ever again!

My 1 year surgiversary is less than a month away - September 14th.  Today, I weigh 232.2 lbs.  My goal is to weigh 225 lbs on my surgiversary.  BUT, most importantly, my goal is to be out of the hole of depression and back on the road to a healthy, vibrant, and FANTASTIC me.

Good for you, Kim, for jumping back on the program and full-tilt into LIFE.  This will be a much different trip to Disney for you, you know that.  And the weight loss has done a lot for you and you are taking the steps to make your future even better.  You deserve this - - go get it!!!

Mary

So glad you recognized the need to get back on the anti-depressants. Yes, the thrill of such awesome weight loss can make us feel very good, and lead us into thinking we are ok now. But not really the case especially with a clinical depression. Happy to hear you are back on them and beginning to feel better. I have been on antidepressants for many years. Will NOT consider going off of them ever. Have tried a few times in the past, and it just comes back to bite me in the behind! lesson learned the hard way.

I LOVE your goal of being out of the hole of depression and back on the road to a vibrant healthy you! As your depression lifts, I am sure you will find it easier to get back to the plan and get that weight loss moving again. Make it a mission to not ever let anything derail you from this journey! some days that means taking things moment by moment.

Keep up the great work! ENJOY disney! the walking around will be awesome exercise!

Hugs to you. let me know if I can support you in any way!

Kim, I have missed your posting.  We have surgery dates very close to each other.  I too struggle with food choices at times.  Wish Dennis and I thought of meals with the same goal.  Not going to happen soon, I predict.  Stay on your meds, a chemical imbalance needs to be balanced.  No shame in balancing our needs.  I do not plan to give up my antidepressant, I need it for my balance in life.

You have done amazing and will enjoy the activity at Disney much better this year with your wonderful weight loss.  Plan healthy things to eat at Disney, as best you are able.  Take pics to share with us.  I love to enjoy other's vacations.  Hugs and come post more routinely.