MIA for a week

Well, I am frustrated right now.  I have not posted anything for about a week.  My B-day was on the 24 and I haven't posted since.  I am not going anywhere because I want to get this weight off now!!!!  I can say that what I have eaten in a week can maybe be 2 days worth of food and protein shakes. 

The scale has moved up.  I'm not even sure if it's working properly any more.  This is the 3rd scale of this brand (purchased at WalMart) that I have gotten in less than a year.  I am under the maximum weight for it but the majority of the time it gives me an error sign.  But this weight gain is driving me absolutely mad to the point that I am in a for sure ****ty mood....excuse the language but I am just down about it,  I don't want to give up but seeing the scale say 338 just ****** me off.  It is my fault though and on top of it I am so obsessed with scale that I am on it several times through out the day.  I need to get rid of it and count my losses and regain my sanity.  I want so badly to weigh i just once a week but I can't stand "not knowing" 

I am just going to strictly have shakes only from this point out and it will be what it will be.  I will just have to keep going and eventually I will get there but, I want it know!

One good thing however, is that I took one of the Bariatric Buddy members advice, it may have been Patrece; and mad a large container of the protein shake and that got me through the day so nicely and took all of the fuss out of me having to make 3 shakes a day.  Now, all I have to do is pour.  Thank for the advice it was sound!

Well, I think I have whined enough.  Back to the grind in a few hours.  Thank you all for listening and letting me vent.

Patrece I am so happy that surgery went well for you, you are making a speedy recovery and on the grand baby.

Gigi, pack the scale in a box, gift wrap it and as a gift to yourself, open the gift only once a week. Happy Belated birthday. Let health be the greatest gift you get this year. After you do your weight, carefully wrap the gift (scale) up and put it away on a shelf for another week.

Take the time to do your measurements. Even on weeks when the scale does not move, you will notice some inches missing from 'here and there'.

If you are making a couple of days worth of food last for several days, you body will go into starvation mode and try to save every calorie that you deposit into your body. This means maintaining the weight. You need basic nutrition to be able to function and succeed. Get in your protein, liquids and veggies. Do what you can to move your body about, even dancing by the TV can add up to calories burned.

Journal your feelings, it helps so very much. Come share at chat tonight if you can make it. Please do come and post, we are here for you. Is there anything that I can do to help from afar? Hugs

Thanks Kathy.  I don't feel like me right now.  I want my room dark.  I don't want my daughter near me really and that is so not fair to her.  I am moody, want to cry, don't have a real appetite, am sick of seeing myself in the mirror.  I look out the window and see how nice it is out but don't want to leave my room.  If I do anything it is get on the computer.  I can't really talk to my family because then I get theses freaking "looks" and then I know they will talk behind my back.  Wish my daughter could be somewhere else because I am sad for her to be with me right now and I don't want her to see me cry because I don't think I could really tell her why.  Just not right.  So much to do and don't know where to start.  Then all of the sudden I am fine.  Feel normal.  Its like this all day, back and forth.  Then I tell myself I am too old to be "acting" this way.  I know something is wrong and don't even want to go to the doctor in fear that they will "confirm" that something is wrong with me.  I am so freaking unhappy with myself and the choices that I have made and the ones that I should have but didn't.  Sad of what I've done to my body.  I have never been insecure before, now I just feel that everyone looks at me as if I am disgusting no matter how much make-up or how pretty my clothes.

I know that you all will say I need to run to the doctor...I know I do.  I will. 

First of all Gigi, you are NOT losing your mind.  Weight loss affects our hormones, big time.  There is an article in the blog area of Bariatric buddy, I am going to copy and paste it here for easier reading, you will not need to search for it.  It explains lots of things, and a trip to the MD may be in order for med adjustments.  Hang in there my friend, this will improve.

Did you ever wonder why after WLS... [Edit Post]
on August 23, 2009 3:49 am
Published
Many of us experience some changes in our emotions after weight loss surgery. There are a few things that contribute to this occurance, But, here's one reason you may not have even been aware of.

First, we all have "fat cells" in our bodies. Even thin people. When you are not overweight, these cells are flat, meaning not filled out. As you gain weight these fat cells become more filled out and larger. Your body actually does not create new fat cells. The ones you do have are just no longer flat and basically empty.

So, whats very interesting here is that when you are obese, and begin to lose weight, you are not actually losing fat cells, rather you are losing the "stuff inside" of those fat cells. What I find extremely interesting though, is what exactly some of that "stuff" in our fat cells actually consist of, other than just fat.

When you first began to pack on the pounds, many of your hormones were actually stored in your fat cells. The longer you have been obese, the more hormones are stored in these fat cells. As you begin to lose weight and your fat cells begin to shrink, they excrete hormones that have been stored in these cells for as long as you have been over weight, thus releasing these hormones back into your blood stream.

Once they are back into your blood stream, you begin to feel the effects of these newly released hormones, and it can really get you in a state of upheaval. Did you begin to gain weight during the time of puberty? Remember how hard that time in our lives were? You were going through many hormonal changes then. Now, as your fat cells release these hormones, you begin to feel the effects of them, but more subtly than during puberty.

So it is believed that this is one of the big reasons many wls patients go through mood changes, and emotional changes especially during the rapid loss phase. The good news is, this does not last forever. And as the weight loss slows, so does this release of hormones that have been stored up over the years in the fat cells, as these stored hormones get flushed from our systems.

It can be helpful to enlist the assistance of an antidepressant during you loss time, to help stabilize the emotional effects of this process. If you are currently on antidepressants, you may need the level temporarily increased during this time.

Which, leads me to another point. After wls, you are in a state of malabsorbtion, unless you had the lapband procedure. This being said, any current medications you are taking at the time of your wls procedure, may need to be adjusted by your physician post-operatively. This applies to not only anti-depressants, but all medications. This is something that will be important to discuss with your surgeon, and (s)he may refer you to your pcp after surgery to manage your medication levels.

Yep Gigi.. read the article. I think it will clear up some of this for you honey. Meanwhile, try to be easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself, and just take things a step at a time.
So sorry you are feeling so blah.. but this too shall pass, stay strong my friend. It will get better. The weright fluctuations are normal. If you have a "cycle" that will affect it. If yu miss getting in enough fluids, that will affect it.. just keep following the plan, and it will start budging in your favor again. I know it gets discouraging, but our bodies try to preserve themselves, and these are the times we struggle with the numbers on the scale. Put the scale aside...somehow, and just relax for a week or so. The stress the daily weighing in is creating can alsdo be slowing your loss. Stess creates hormone production that encourages weight gain and discourages weight loss.

Big hugs to you!