question about weight loss

i thought if u were stressed, depressed, and mad that your weight loss would stall? presurgery still. im down 6 lbs this week. i havent been exercising but i am going to start again. and yesterday i didnt get all of my water in but usually i do. i keep thinking maybe im pregnant because my metabolism speeds up when i am, but no still not pregnant thank God. i guess i will just count my blessings but its hard when your in a bad mood and im still not back to myself. i yelled at my daughter and mother in law took her til monday so how are we supposed to patch things up? sometimes help is annoying because people only help when they want to. i am going to look up some info on bullying and see if i can use any of it to help my daughter. i know i havent written in a while. school is going good. 3 tests next week already. missed a dose of my meds and ive been off ever since. just not happy with my life and i am unsure of who i am. am i the person that's changing into the positive lover who accepts everything and sees both sides or am i the miserable depressed child that was verbally abused by her parents? gabby completed a behavior program but is so manipulative the moment the bus brought her home with the completion paperwork she started hitting and acting out again. its just frustrating. i HATE autsim and mood problems. i cant say that enough. i think i am going to try to blog or write while i'm alone. i have a lot on my mind. hubby is at work. but i have to take my meds after i send this post. anyways, was curious about the weight loss. estastic that im still loosing but confused as to why. LOL. i do know that i dont eat real sugar anymore, take vitamins, am doing everything the hospital wants and then some! but it makes no sense to me. okay i wont whine about it. i know u all must think im nuts for complaining about weight loss but i am the kind of person who loves to know WHY. and it bothers me sometimes when i dont understand smoething. i am so glad i am down 24 lbs since i started this journey a month and a half ago. dont get me wrong there.

yes stress can effect weightloss. but remember even with a crazy life u r doing this for u and no one else.  keep u r chin up

thanks. I will definately do that. trying to. just have felt so odd lately and the house is a mess. grrr. busy busy busy. not used to the busy life anymore. lots of adjusting on my part. but my confidence is awesome and i dont emotionally eat anymore.

Stress can affect weight loss for sure.. especially if YOU let it. If you have gotten away from the emotional eating, then the chances of it holding you back are lessened! Plus you are back to school and you said life has been very busy.. that helps too. the busier you are, the less time you have to look through the fridge and cupboards out of boredom.

Congrats on the 6 lbs down! Wooooo hooooooooo... Maybe the why is because you are putting some real effort into doing what needs to be done.  Another thing that helps, is once we get ourselves into fat burning mode...we can benefit from it for days on end with the loss.

I am so sorry you are struggling with Gabby's behavior and outbursts. Being a parent is hard work. Being a parent to a special needs child is much harder. Is there a support group in your area for parents of autistic children? You may find some excellent support and help there if there is one.

Hugs.. and hang in there

no support groups in town maybe i can find one online. i need something i know. yes parenting is sooo hard esp since i have my own emotional problems. i am so proud of myself for staying with everything but need to exercise still today but its early. yes been really busy. today is hubbys birthday and i havent had sweets or sugar in a long time and am afraid to have a piece of cake. not because ill get hooked neccessarily, im not big on sweets. i feel great now that ive lost weight and am waiting for my mind to catch up to all the changes. i changed my senery after cleaing the livingroom and am going to work on my book while gabby is at grandmas. cat is laying on the tv tray behind the computer and chewing my jump drive. bad kitty. hanks for the support. :) it helps to bounce ideas off everyone here. ps ive beaten the scale. only weighed myself a few days last week.

Hey Sara, glad to read your post.  It  took me a couple of readings to get to the point.  Your life is muddled and confused. 

In reading, your post, you bounced from topic to topic in the same paragraph that eeked of personal confusion.  When you feel this way, like things closing in on you, take a moment to sit down, take several deep breaths and focus on one thing at a time. 

Remember that you are the most important part of this puzzle.  You need to be strong, heathy and collected to first care for yourself so that you have the energy and strength to care for the challenges in your live.

It is great that you have an additional place for your daughter to stay when the situation calls for it.  Do take a moment today for yourself.  Meditate, journal, write some in your book.  Write a list of priorities, start with yourself and your health at the top of the list.  Continue to list things that simply have to be done, include some things that you want to do for mental satisfaction. 

Pass on birthday greetings to your husband.  Congrats on losing 25 pounds in the last 6 weeks or so.  That is impressive for being a pre-op.  You are doing some things right for yourself.  Increasing you metabolism with exericse continues for several to many hours after completing the exercise.  I know we all want to know 'exactly' why and how things work, do not overstress on the why's and how's, just enjoy the results and relax.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time.  Hugs

Am i really the most important person in my priorities? me and my mental health that is? a cousin 9 years younger than me or so, is ticked at me and is telling me its all about gabby and to quit being so selffish. but i know what happens to kids and parents if the parents arent in sound mental health or at least trying to be. i had a few decoations off his cake and i want a piece so bad, but you're right i should pass on it. i am strong enough now that i think i will. he wont understand but i do. yeah the weight loss is amazing. ive never had anything like it before in my life. i am going to work on my book and maybe blog on my regular blog. im not sure. i took a nap and it hlped but i have negative vibes from lots of people and am starting to get unstable again but my eyes are focused on the goal of loosing weight and getting surgery. i wont crumble to pieces, i wont let it happen.

Yes you are the most important person Sara.  Take care of yourself so that you will have energy to deal with the rest of life situations.    Do not make the negative vibes you.  Stick with positive friends and let those who are negative know that you are expecting positive things from them.

Focus, focus, you can and will get through this Sara, Hugs.

Maybe your reply to the cousin should be ...you are right it is all about Gabby. I have to get healthy physically and mentally and emotionally in order to be the best mother to MY child. Thank them for their input and tell them that is the END of the discussion. If she tries to keep talking about it, change the subject, tell her again that you do not wish to discuss it with her, or simply END the conversation altogether.

You can't allow others to live your life and make your decisions and choices. This is what they are trying to do when they say things like that to you. You have the right to put a stop to it. Is your cousin that is 9 years younger living a perfect life? In perfect mental / emotional health? In perfect physical health? Is she a smashing success in all areas of life?   I doubt she could be so perfect in one area as she is human, but to have mastery of all areas.. doubtful. Maybe it is time to tell her to focus on making her own choices and decisions and leaving yours to you? This can be hard to do, but LIFE is hard enough without all the outside "NOISE" going on.

I am almost 44 years old. I have spent the majority of my life doing what everyone else thought I should do, acting like everyone else thought I should act, giving to everyone except me. You know where that got me? NO WHERE. Did it please them? Usually not, it was still never enough or good enough. Did it please me? NOT at all. Nothing at all was accomplished by trying to always do what everyone but "I" thought I should do, except the wasting of my youth and a large part of my life. Now here I am FINALLY taking care of me to some decent degree, putting me first when "I" need to be first. Life isn't perfect, but a lot better than it was before and I am growing every single day. And at least SOMEONE is getting something out of my better choices that I am making for myself..and thats me! but better yet, it is making me a better person for those I love and for those who can't handle it...they probably aren't a good fit in my life anyways. Everyone I love is accepting that I am transitioning into a better person. I don't defend myself or make excuses. I just do what I must do for me to be the best person I can for all of us. This doesn't mean I never put others first, it just means I know when I must come first. I lovemy loved ones very much. But i am also learning to love myself a bit and ya know what? it's a good feeling!

hugs to you

thanks so much to both of you for the uplifting talk. i defriended and blocked her on facebook. i only see her at funerals anyways. this isnt the first time shes given me crap so it was the last draw. i agree. i cant take care of gabby if i dont take care of myself. i find it hard to find people who accept me and all my many moods. its just hard, but im changing slowly. no more negativity. go away bad month. tomrrow is a new day. i definetly understand what you guys are saying and believe that this time is about getting me healthy so i can live the rest of my life with my family. im sure not everyone agrees with my decision and thats where things probably get worse but no one has really said anything to my face except my dad, who is cluless about the surgery period.