Claiming MY Right to Life

For the past few days I have been staying with friends and getting some awesome and sound nutritional advice.  
My friend is a mom to an almost 10 month old and makes her own baby food.  She has been an incredible resource and a powerful friend during all of this.  I've been making my own baby food and am discovering that I actually like food that I never enjoyed before - brussel sprouts, asparagus, cottage cheese.  

I also found a really interesting book titled, "When Food is Love" by Geneen Roth.  She has several books, however this one seemed to resonate with my friend and I.  For such a small book, it packs quite the pearls of wisdom.  Two quotes that struck me today are, "Eating is a metaphor for the way we live; it is also a metaphor for the way we love." and "At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to protect ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth or to hide.  To dive into life or to avoid it.  Initimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth at that moment."

I find these comments to be extraordinary and quite profound given my current situation.  Last week I was admitted to the hospital because I was in an extreme amount of pain.  I faced medical staff who did not want to take my case on because my surgery occurred at another hospital and they did not want the responsibility of my care.  Background note:  The Bariatric Program is run out of Toronto Western hospital.  All of my appointments have been at Toronto Western Hospital.  My surgery occurred at Toronto East.  My surgeon and her team have been on vacation since my surgery and I was referred by the surgeons office to go to Toronto Western where the program is run from. 

At first the doctors could only say "the good thing is that you're not dead yet".  Ummm - well duh!  Of couse that's a good thing!  This caused an incredible amount of stress and needless frustration.  In the end I have an infection and inflammation in my incision, not at the incision site, but underneath where the camera was apparently inserted.  One doctors lovely suggestion to cure my pain was to lose more weight - lol =)~  I am on antibiotics right now to deal with the infection.  The meds will be taken over 10 days and if they do not work, I have to go back and will likely need surgery to remove the infecttion (or so that is what I have been told).  I am still in quite a bit of pain.  It hurts to do anything for periods of time - sitting, standing, walking, being LOL.  I am 3 weeks post op and I am now down 52 lbs.  I am following the program to the letter and am now keeping a daily food and exercise journal.  I'm monitoring my water intake and trying my best to be as compliant as possible.  =)~

The red-tape is a very aggravating and frustrating experience.  It is not something that I am unfamiliar with, however it has prompted me to truly evaluate my situation and what lessons are to be learned from this experience.  Specifically around my value and self-worth.  I have an incredible opportunity to be connected to my deepest truth - to reveal myself, value myself, to tell the truth and dive into life.  I am claiming my freedom.  I am claiming my right to life - a healthy life.  What this means is that the partnerships that I entered into with my medical team will need to be honoured on all sides.  Only those who are willing to participate and be fully engaged will be allowed the opportunity to impact and enhance my healthy life and freedom.  Opportunities will be given to me, I'm certain, that will honour this declaration of mine.  LOL!  I need to surround myself with people who are committed to assisting me achieve my goals.  That is the bottom line.  So while I am still in pain, I'm working at getting stronger emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  I'm taking things one step at  a time. 

You go Michelle, I like the thoughts and quotes.  Celebrate yourself.  I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Let the antibiotics work.  Too bad about those who care for you and are not sympathetic.  Great to have a good friend to help with your recovery.  Keep working your tool.  Keep up the self celebration.  Hugs

I too LOVE the quotes and appreciate your decision to make YOU a priority...I applaud you for this. You have the picture gal! This is not just a journey of the diet and exercise and water intake.. it is an all encompassing journey and we all have the opportunity and choice to make changes in all aspects of our lives to become the best US we can be. Not for anyone but US. But once we do this, all those we care for benefits from it as well. keep up the great frame of mind and CONGRATS on the awesome weight loss! Praying the antibiotics will take care of the infection and that you are pain free and infection free in NO time!
Hugs! Thanks so much for sharing this.

I love Geneen Roth.  I have several of her books (as well as a workbook).  She makes sense.

I'm so sorry to hear about your infection!  What a pain in the butt!  But am really excited to hear about your 52 lbs loss so far!  WOW!  Hopefully the infection will clear up with this round of antibiotics and you'll feel great soon.  How obnoxious for the Dr to comment that you are not dead yet.  And the other one for you to lose weight?  Jerks.  

I love following you!  So keep writing girl!

You have a great outlook on things.  Surround yourself with positive people and ignore those who are negative.  Lean on a friend and anyone here that you can talk to in order to keep up your spirits.  You have done very well so far despite the snag of having an infection.  I hope you get well soon and the antibiotics work soon. 

I am 8 weeks post surgery (RNY) so I understand where you are at in this process as it is still fresh for me as well.  I am from Canada (London, Ontario) but had my surgery in Warren Michigan and was fortunate to have a wonderful experience.  I have not had many appts with my family physician since I am still seeing the surgeon in the US.

Remember that people, including the doctors, say the stupidest things sometimes.  I do not think that they realize what they are saying.  Ignore the doctor that said to lose more weight, you are doing great.  Just concentrate on you and getting better.

Take care