Have any of you ever had doubts?

I am obviously still in the hoops process, and consider myself approximately almost halfway through with the process.  But I have been thinking a lot and posted something about this on my blog....  Basically, Jillian MIchaels was talking about a girl who had gastric bypass and she said that the problem with it is that it only cures the symptom.  I think those word**** me hard, because like the girl I feel I can identify with the feeling worthless part.  My nutritionist said that some of the things I shared with her are above her head in the nutritionist cap.  Is it possible that I would benefit more from counseling than surgery?  What if I sorted out my messed up head and stopped using food to medicate the problem?  What  if I go through with the surgery and continue to sabatoge myself?  Has anyone had thoughts like this?

I have been in counseling for several years now.  My therapist had recommended the surgery before when I was against it.  However, as part of my process (I am only one month into my 6 month process before surgery) I talked with a psychologist who goes over possible issues I will have to deal with and then she referes you to someone to do that.  Just so happens my therapist is one of those people anyway. 

So, I know I have to learn to handle the added attention and self image.  I lost 100 lbs once before and had the problem of looking in the mirror and not knowing who I was looking at.  Not only did I look different, I no longer knew how to define myself.  So, she said knowing I had to deal with this stuff put me ahead of the game.  Of course dealing with it may be a whole 'nother issue in itself. 

I wonder all the time if I have made the right choice.  I am scared as hell.  I will be 52 yrs old when I get this.  Sometimes I wish I'd done it sooner.  Now, I feel like I'm doing it to save my life.  And yet, I still have anxiety about it just about every day.  A friend said it to me this way 'this is a big change a big decision.  If you didn't feel that way, you wouldn't be human'. 

So, I am trying to get everything done so I can do this in December.  Yup, that means missing all the Christmas goodies... and maybe Thanksgiving depending on the timing of the pre-diet constraints. 

Start counseling now, but find someone who knows about food issues! 

Good Luck!
Gwen

I had the same thoughts before surgery.  Would it work, could I work it, would I fail..etc...

Now that I have had surgery I down almost 100lbs and so glad that I did it.  You will be amazed at how much more control you have after surgery (at least for me).

I used to eat a whole med. pizza with sausage and extra cheese at one sitting, or have to stop at fast food places all day long just because something would "sound good" or "smell good".

Now, I can't stand to see large of amounts of food anywhere!  and the power of making good choices is so much easier.  Hungry?  Nope! 

I feel much more dedicated to me.  I still have issues with feeling secure in my "new" body, but those are things that I know I will adjust to.  Yes, it has been hard to hear compliments, but I am learning to accept them for what they are.. Compliments and not sarcastic comments about my size.

I began my jouney at 371, not to far from where you are now.  I know all the doubts, but don't let some TV made guru direct your mind.  I did the BL diet for a long time and lost about 70 lbs just to gain it all back.  I truly believe I gained it back because I did not have the control I needed to keep going. Now with my RNY "tool", I know I can do it and you will to.

Good Luck!

Jane, you are ahead of the game.  Just thinking and knowing that you have issues with food.  I would find a counselor specializing in eating disorders, start the sessions.  Continue to see the nutritionist and pursue surgery.  The combination of talk therapy along with nutritional guidance will help with dealing with your new relationship with food after surgery.

We all have head issues, I will be the first to shout out loud that I am addicted to food.  Thank goodness for my tool and I can not follow through on my addiction.  I wish food addicts could do the same as alcoholics and gamblers.  Just leave the addiction alone.  BUT, WE CAN'T.  We have to nourish our bodies with the one thing that we are killing them with.  A therapist will work on rethinking the way we deal with our issues.  There are alternative ways to soothe ourselves than food. 

I am glad that you share and vent with us.  I have many of the same issues and bringing it out in the open helps.  Thanks for being you.  Major league hugs coming your way Jane.  Hugs, Kathy

You received so many words of wisdom and lots of insight. Weight loss surgery works where other methods fail, but you do have to work with it. I personallty think the combo of therapy and wls is the most effective form of treatment for those of us who have lost, gained, lost , gained, etc.

the tool you will get will help you control portions. the therapy will help you change your relationship with food. Jillian is definately a healthy person, but I'll bet she never lived on our side of the tracks.

You have to be true to you. Do what you feel in your heart is best. this surgery isn't for everyone. You have to be dedicated and do what has to be done to have lifelong success, but I know for me it was just the right thing to give me the power and tool to make the lifestyle changes and to stay dedicated to my success. The great thing is, even when you hit the point of wanting to go astray, you can only go so far.. then your tool (surgery) will stop you in your tracks.. but after the first couple of years you can damage your tool if not used right, so therapy, discipline and self love are very important starting now..

Big loving hugs.

Thank you ladies.  I really appreciate the feedback.  I think I feel a little better, and more motivated to find a therapist to work with.  I have a LOT of issues with food, self esteem, and I self sabatoge sometimes, though not as much anymore.  There has to be something wrong with me when my initial response to a bad day was to want to eat a pizza and a hershey pie.  I didn't eat either of them, though I'll be honest that right now my motivation is terror and fear because I've started experiencing chest tightness and heart palpitations.  Sometimes I think God has put me on this path for a reason, and that those palpitations might have meant death for me in an alternate universe where I did not stop changing my ways.

-Hugs Kathy- 

I have a huge problem where I break down in tears at the nutritionist's office too.  Yeah.  I have a lot of issues to work on.  =/