Yesterday...

Yesterday wasn't the best day for me food wise. I found myself making careless decisions and I did engage in some "comfort eating". I am not so happy with myself for this. I remind myself I am human and will not always do the perfect thing in this journey.

So then I walked myself through a little process, that I like to use when I have "off days". I identified what was at the core of this behavior. And now my job is to address that, and work hard not to fall victim to this cycle in the future.

I discovered that the root of this is that since returning home from my retreat, things just are not what they need to be for me to b happy, so I rapidly went downhill (emotionally) when I stepped back into my reality upon arriving home. Often I am good at avoiding comforting myself with food.. but put PMS on top of this, and its a recipe for disaster..lol.

So today, my focus is on not succubing to the need for comfort from foods. There are too many other sources of comfort available. I will find an alternative..And one that comforts for much longer than the few moments the taste and feel of the food does.

Here for your support my friend.  I went to a wls support group meeting last evening. 
We had a mindful eating lesson from the dietician.  Took a craisin, studied it, the look, how it felt in our hand, the aroma, how it smelled, the initial taste during the first bite of out tooth, how it tasted as we rolled it around in our mouth, the lingering flavors that happened, satisfaction.  All in all, it took us 8 minutes to enjoy the one craisin.  Sounded odd when she started the exercise, but very interesting when we talked about differing kinds of hunger. 

The dietician sent us home with a worksheet that talked of 7 differing kinds of hunger and to consider several from the list when presented with something to eat. 

1. Eye - a mix of colors and shapes satisries this hunger.  Beauty and presentation, look at your food.

2. Nose - before eating, smell your food.  Notice how long you can taste your food after you've swallowed.

3. Mouth - key to satisfy mouth hunger is to be present at the party in your mouth.  Variety in flavor and texture.

4. Stomach - don't mistake anxiety for stomach hunger

5. Cellular - are my cells hungry?  For what? Listen quietly.

6. Mind - think of the Buddhist principle of the middle way.

7. Heart - Eat with appreciation and love.  To live as a human is to experience suffering.

Taken from Mindful Eating, by Jan Chozen Bays

In all honesty, some of these kinds of hunger are easy to see, I had a hard time listening to my cells to see if they were hungry.  It is amazing what can go spinning around in our heads at any moment.  Eat to nourish the body, talk to nourish the soul.  Take care Patrece.  Hugs from a long ways off.

Thanks my dear friend Kathy. I appreciate knowing you are just a message or a phone call away. Thanks too for sharing the info from your meeting last night. I really need to check into getting guest speakers now and then for my live group.
Hugs!

HI Kathy
I hope you don't mind, but I would like to borrow the Craisin test to use at my support group meeting next month.
Thanks!
Terry

Dear Patrece,
Thanks for your honesty.  It encourages my heart to know I'm not the only one that struggles.  I know it isn't about perfection, it is about continuing to do the process of this journey.
Dear Kathy B,
Thanks too for the great post about mindful eating. I'm printing those off to post on my refrigerator.
Both of you are such great encouragers. Thanks~

Ann.. It really doesn't matter who we are or where we are... we all share so many of the same struggles. I think too, sometimes it is a good thing for me as the group leader to share that I struggle too. You guys know I am sure, but it serves as a reminder that not a one of us is without struggle and we can all fall short of our good intentions on this journey..But thats ok, as long as we learn from it and admit it to ourselves. Its okay to be perfectly imperfect!

I am definitely wondering how I will control my "feeding frenzies" after my WLS.  Hopefully I will get back big time into exercising and moving this old body.  Finding the root cause is not always easy.  Right now some of the hunger is driven by fear, fear of the surgery itself, fear of not being able to have some of my favorite foods, even though I know it might not be forever, it should be forever if I don't want to regain the weight that I haven't even lost yet.  Did that make any sense?
I just want this next week to go and yet I don't.  Ambivalence is mine.

You are right.. it is scarey wondering how we will change all these habits and beliefs and behaviors that have been with us for a life time. We are always a work in progress. But having the tool of our wls to help us, encourages us, and helps us be more mindful. Finding the root cause, is rarely easy, you are sooooo right! Sometimes it hides from us, sometimes we hide from it. Just try each day to do "the next right thing" and when you do get off track, accept it, forgive yourself (do not beat yourself up) and do your best to learn from it. Then come here and share, and let us all support you along the way.

You are experiencing the dreaded "last supper syndrome". But know that you will have a bounty of delicious and heathy foods available to you later, and you will learn to tweak some of your old favorites to be wls friendly. AND if you are lucky, your tastes will develope a preference for these healthier nutritious foods.

Hugs!

Thanks Patrice.

Patrece, none of our lives are perfect and we all have to deal with things that make us miserable. Having said that, I want to add that we all have the right to strive to become happy, even if that means that our decisions and actions may make others uncomfortable.

You already said it, food is a superficial, momentary comfort and it doesn't make the problems go away. It just makes us fat! In order to fix the problems, we have to deal with the problems, not bury ourselves in ice cream and cookies!

I hope you are feeling better tomorrow. You are a strong (and now great looking! lol) lady, and I know you will find your way through whatever caused you to be unhappy.

Hugs,
Amalia