Bariatric Buddy
joke
Husband Wanted:
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it
was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that
read:
'HUSBAND WANTED:- MUST BE IN MY AGE
GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST
STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.'
On the second day, she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired
gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really
asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!
'
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot
run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms
either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I
can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked
intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big
smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it
was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that
read:
'HUSBAND WANTED:- MUST BE IN MY AGE
GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST
STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.'
On the second day, she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired
gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really
asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!
'
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot
run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms
either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I
can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked
intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big
smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'
EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
How to Get the Police to Respond Really Quickly
Did you hear about the guy who called the police because he saw some people stealing things out of the shed in his back yard? The police asked him if they were in his house and he said, "No." Then the police said that all units were busy and he should lock his doors. They would send someone as soon as they could.
The guy hung up, waited 30 seconds and called back. "I just called you about the people stealing things out of my shed. Well, don't worry about it, I shot them."
In less than five minutes, police cars screeched into his driveway, sirens blaring, and caught the thieves red-handed.
"I thought you said you shot them," said the officer.
"Thought you said no one was available," he replied.
OH Support Group Leader
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
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Patrece S.
Group Leader
Kathy B.
Co- Leader