Thursday check in

Hi to all my bariatric buddies.  I finally got my computer back from the computer hospital and it seems to be working well.  My son is here and staying until after Easter so I've been fighting him for computer time.  I finally broke down and let him use my laptop; if he screws it up I'll kill him! lol!

I got to my water aerobics class this morning.  It's the first time I've had any sort of work out since my passing out incident a couple of weeks ago.  I've also been running with doctor's appointments for me and my mom both so I haven't even been on my bike for a few days.  I think tomorrow I'm going to load the metal detector on the bike and check out a small park that is several blocks from the house. 

I did something today that I haven't done in about 3 or 4 years.  It has been almost 80 degrees here today and I went to the store wearing shorts.  I haven't worn shorts in public in years but felt okay with it today.

I had my measurements taken at the gym this morning.  I've lost another 6.5 inches bringing my total to 36.  There is no way in the world I am going to be able to be at 180 for this next appointment coming up with the surgeon on the 15th.  Right now I'm shooting for being below 200.  If he gives me any lip I'm just going to tell him the facts.  I'm on medication that has me gaining weight and I can't change it because it is working for the reason it is being prescribed.  This new diagnosis with the blood pressure dropping all the time is seriously hindering my ability to exercise.  I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm doing what I know how to do to get around those things, like water aerobics and a tricycle.  If he gets pissy with me I'm going to give him an earful.  I had this surgery and have had to fight with medications, weird physical conditions and whatever else.  I refuse to feel like a failure the way I did the last time I was there.  If he feels that my progress is in some way a reflection on him, I will stop going.  My PCP says I'm doing great.

I'm sorry, but I really get worked up about that last appointment with the surgeon.  Now I'm crying like an idiot.  I was thinking about a lot of things today and I realized that for the most part, I love my life for the first time ever.  I have a wonderful marriage with a man that adores me, spoils me rotten and doesn't hardly ever b*tch about anything.  My sons are both safe and sound, my mom is doing well and I don't have to work at Walmart anymore.  I don't know what is going to happen with my disability but it's not something I'm terribly concerned about at this time.  It is sounding like I am going to get my benefits as they just found more stuff wrong with me.  I have 2 bulging and 2 ruptured discs in my neck and they also discovered from the last blood work I had done that I have gout.  My health obviously isn't the best but other than the dizzy spells I don't feel bad, like I'm sick all the time.  I'm just not going to let the surgeon have that kind of power over me to make me feel bad, not when everything else is going so well.

Anyway, I'm going to get down from my soap box now.  I know it's only been a day or two but it seemed like forever since I'd written into the group.

I hope you all have a great evening!

Colleen