grrrr..sorry...need to vent...

I am 3 weeks from leaving for my plastic surgery and have a big fight with my room mate/boyfriend...he is convinced that I will end up in the emergency ward and/or morgue due to not eating enough..he went as far as to say I am "trying" to become anoxeric....sorry but that makes me mad...I am far from anoxeric...so now he wants me to add ice cream to my protein shake for the added calories....ugh...what is wrong with him...

I can see both sides, he is worried about your health. I wouldn't add ice cream but extra yogurt or greek yogurt to increase your protein without adding extra carbs. No fair having a dumping episode from ice cream. You will need this extra protein for healing over the next few weeks.

How is the rest of your relationship with him going? Men can be so frustrating at times.

yogurt is a great idea!

Our relationship is a strange one, the reason I say room mate most of the time is that is how it feels, we live in the same house, but we do not share a bed, and the extent of intimacy is a quick peck on the lips good bye in the morning and at night before bed...I hug friends more then him and that is how he wants it I guess...

You know what you should be doing to ensure your well being... and hopefully you are doing it. Is he going with you to mexico? (Just curious). I personally wonder if he is feeling very insecure and threatened by the new thin you, and even more so by the improvements you are going to mexico to get. Maybe in his mind, once you are a hot momma, you won't want or need him anymore.
I notice you refer to him more as a rommate than a boyfriend... so maybe the distance in the relationship, topped off with the "new" you, is just too much for him to handle and he is feeling threatened. It happens quite often in relationships after one has wls.
You must learn to not let him affect you so much. It just feuls him and makes you unhappy. When you learn to not let him affect you like this, it will feul you and make him unhappy...lol.
Bad bad me. I didn't say that.

patrece for some reason he is the one person who can make me feel stupid...he is good at it..not sure why it makes me upset and/or mad but it does...he is not going to mexico with me, he is staying home taking care of the pets...we were having relationship problems prior to my WLS...he is convinced that I am cheating on him...from the time we moved in together until now...but just when do I have time to cheat, even if I wanted to, I go to work, I come home...that's it...he even comes home on saturdays, he says its to eat lunch but he snoops through the whole house, I guess he thinks I am hiding all these guys in closets, etc...sounds funny but it is very annoying...

Ahhhhhhhhh  so likely he is even more insecure now than ever. I am really sorry you have to deal with the negativity this creates on the home front.  I know personally how diffuclt his meantal health issue can be to deal with. I grew up with a family riddled with these same things. It wasn't a pleasant childhood to say the very least.

Now, bear in mind, I have been in an ornery mood lately... so what i am about to say may be coming from there, but I think maybe you need to tell him if he feels so insecure, maybe he should do something to make the relationship better and he wouldn't have to worry about it. Obviously he thinks you are not happy with him, so maybe he needs to do something about the things he knows you are not happy about, or shouldn't be happy about in his way of thinking.
Or maybe he just needs reassurance... heck I just dunno. Maybe the relationship is not a healthy one to be in? Lots to consider here... Only you and he knows fo sure what the underlying factors are.
Best of luck in dealing with this. Its a tough one for sure

char, are you still losing weight?  if not, then tell him you are maintaining and to please  BUG OFF!  is he overweight by the way?  you know my husband was jealous at first, thought i might want to get someone else since i was looking so good.  i told him how much i loved him and he was all the man i needed.  he seems to be doing better now.  i don't envy you this type of relationship, too hard to contend with emotionally. vick

vickie, not losing no...go up and down from 122.8 to 125...depending on if I LOL

He is not overweight but he is definitely uhm...out of shape, if he has to do any physical work at work, he is sore for 3 days afterwards...and he is a junk food junkie...but he is convinced, he eats healthy! he has high blood pressure, asthma, kidney disease...has been on prednisone for over 40 years...has caused his skin to be paper thin...a scratch for anyone else ends up a major wound for him...I try not to fight with him due to him having bipolar disorder and most likely borderline personality disorder but sometimes it gets to be too much and I lose my cool....

Awwwwww Char, wish he was more supportive for you.  I have a sister with bipolar and know how dealing with that can be.  Very challenging at times and we do not live under the same roof, or even in the same part of the state at this time.  Do what you need to do for your mental health.  Is anyone joining you in Mexico?  Come vent any time.  Good for the mental health too. 

Good to hear that you weight has stabilized with the 2-3 pound bounce.  Congrats of the great losing and upcoming surgery.  Following your posts as a friend.  We all need friends.  Hugs

Char
 I am sorry to hear that you are having problems at home.
since I am still pre op I can’t answer about the ice-cream but let me give you my 2 cents worth from an unhealthy man's point of view
 I am pre op I weigh way about 430
I know that I am not healthy but I am trying to fix that
 you say that he eats junk food and is out of shape
I think that he is very jealous of you, of what you have become, you are a very smart women, very attractive, and got it going on.  He tells you he is concerned about your heath and he maybe but I think that he wants the old you back so that you do not make him look so bad (a man’s ego is a fragile thing)  oh maybe he is scared that you will come to your senses and kick him to the curb .  Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do for your own mental health. I will hold you in my thought and prayers not only for your situation but for you trip If you need to every talk or to vent or to have some one to pray for you I am here for you Mark