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joke- food for thought

vickie O.
on 3/27/10 10:39 pm - amarillo, TX

Confusious Says...

 


Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!

Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.

Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

Man with hole in pocket feel ****y all day.

Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless *******

Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.

Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Elevator smell different to midget.

 


 

EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW

Kathy B.
on 3/28/10 1:36 am - Virginia, MN
Thanks for the things to ponder today.  Love the chuckles.  Not really hungry for food after this list, lol.  Have a great one Vick.

__________________________________________________

The light turned yellow, just in front of him.  He did the
right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could
have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,
screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get
through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window
and looked up into the face of a very serious
police
officer
..  The  officer ordered her to exit her car with her
hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and
opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the 
arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake.  You see, I pulled up behind         
your car while you were blowing your horn,flipping off the guy in front         
of you and cussing a blue streak at him.  I noticed the 'What Would         
Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow
Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated       
Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally... .  I assumed   
you had stolen the car.''

Priceless         
OH Support Group Leader
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome

        
vickie O.
on 3/28/10 1:46 am - amarillo, TX
good one!!

 

EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW


Patrece S.
Group Leader

Kathy B.
Co- Leader
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