Mercy, Mercy, Mercy...

 

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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES. He slowly begins to think that the signs are for real when he drives past third sign saying: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT.

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF MERCY.

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

The nun leads him down a hallway, then stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.

This nun instructs, "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY.

Paddy was in  New York  .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street 
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, 
pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy 
went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics 
across?'




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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in 
the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best 
friend, Finney. 

'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'