Good Neighbors

Sam was a college professor for 25 years and finally got sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Minnesota as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a 300 lb., six-foot-three-inch tall bearded man in a fur hat and overalls standing there.

"Name's Lars... Your neighbor from four miles away... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."

"Great," said Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars was leaving he stopped, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years of teaching college kids, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he started to leave Lars stopped. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Sam said, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turned from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem!" said Sam, "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stopped in the door again and said, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."