Bariatric Buddy
joke
Two-Week Abstinence
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple, and a young newlywed couple, wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked the elderly couple, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church." said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two week?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but, yes, we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church." said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"Well, Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks." the young man replied.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church." stated the pastor.
"That's OK." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Safeway any more either."
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EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
I know one joke that I can tell, all the other jokes I can think of are really raunchy and inappropriate. But here is the one I can pass on.
Q; Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.
I know, big loud groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Colleen
Surgery 9-30-09
SW 281.4
CW 118.8
GW 145
Don't Mess with Pizza Hut
A former employee of a Pizza Hut tried to extort $500 for five car roof signs that he took while he worked there. You know, the kind the pizza guy (or gal) puts on top of their car when they go delivering pizzas.
The manager told him he wanted proof that he really had them. So the guy emailed him a picture. Only problem was, the police were able to zoom in on the license plates of two cars in the background which were registered to the guy.
He was charged with extortion, possession of stolen property and grand larceny.
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
Patrece
JUST DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING!
Obesity Help Support Group Leader & Coach
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy
Lost 114 lbs. working on getting rid of a recent 10 lb regain...and WILL succeed!
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Patrece S.
Group Leader
Kathy B.
Co- Leader