Caring for elderly mother

Well this weekend was scary for me.  I got a call Friday afternoon from my 90 year old mother, who lives alone, that she came home to discover that her house had been robbed.  They took a sludge hammer or an ax to her front door and busted in the lower panel of the door.  She has an alarm system but the company says they didn't get the alarm.

I rushed over there and sent my brother over too.  We both live at least an hour and one half from her.  He made it sooner than I.

They stole all of her good jewelry (left behind the costume jewelry).  She is so upset that they took a broach my sister gave her,  who passed away in October, and a ring that was over 100 years old that belonged to an aunt she was very close to.  they had to go into her closet and take the broach off the dress my mother wore to my sister's funeral.  She cried in my arms.

I spent the night with her to make sure she felt safe and then the next day went to Home depot to buy her a security screen door and a regular door.  My husband who had trucked all night for his job.  Drove home to the mountains and got his tools and drove back down the mountain to her house and worked for 6 hours on installing the security door.  Of course, it didn't fit like the man promised it would.  A neighbor helped with suppling a tool my husband didn't have.

Another man is coming today to hang the inside door.  He will have to shave off about 1 1/2 inches for the door to fit.

She talked with Allstate and they are only going to give her $1000 for the jewelry and the repairs to the door.  She didn't have any pictures of her jewelry to prove that she had it.  So ladies and gents - make sure you take pics of your valuables.  She lost several rings with rubies, diamonds, and emeralds (her birthstone).  At least she had her wedding ring on her hand.  She would have been horribly heart broken.  She and my dad were married 57 years.  He has been gone now for 10 years in April.

I wish she could live closer to me but she can't handle the elevation of the mountains due to her heart condition and I can't afford to live in her area.  she's done very well living on her own for 10 years.  Her mind is good and she's very active despite her medical conditions.

It's tough when one worries about their parent(s) being ok.

I know this doesn't have to deal with weight loss but felt the need to share.

Marybeth

I am glad that whe wasn't physically harmed. Busy weekend for the both of you. Give her an extra hug next time you see her.

Ohhhhhhhh my gosh.. I am soooo glad your Mother was not at home when they broke in. How scarey for her and you as well. I am so sorry for the terrible fear you all must be experiencing right now...and the loss...I am just so so sorry! It must be so very hard on you being so very far away after this.

Don't ever feel like you can only post about wls related stuff. We are here to listen and care and support each other in allllll aspects of our lives!

I pray there are no more experiences like this!
Hugs!

thanks Kathy and Patrece.  Yes I was very grateful God protected her and she wasn't home.  Although it is a shame that she lost so many things, it would have been horrible if she had lost her life.  I don't think I could have handled that after losing my sister in October to cancer and my father-in-law to alzheimers.

Oh honey.. you have been going through a lot. My heart i with you. I can relate, we went through a 2 year period where it was just onbe tragedy after another.. My mom took her life, my granddaughter was born had to be lifeflighted and have major surgery to suirvive, my daughter was in an arson fire and lost everything, then my hubby in a construction collapse, no one thought he'd live, he did but is totally blind and in severe pain all the time and very depressed.. life will never be the same again... But I am learning how strong I really am!

My heart and thoughts are with you and you mother

Oh my gosh - you have been through the wringer.  I feel for you too.  I hope you have a strong faith to help you.  I do and I know my God watches over my mom and that helps.  He saw to it that she wasn't home when it happened and she was safe.

You are to be congratulated.  You stayed on track with your weight loss.  It would have been very easy to slip back into the old ways of comforting yourself with food.  I know that was one of my first thoughts.  They only thing that probably kept me from doing it was the thought of vomiting it all up and damaging something from my surgery.

I do have faith, at times I find myself strugling with it. But I guess thats kind of normal when we go through such devastation.

I actually had my RNY after my husbands accident. He needed so much from me as far as care giving and of course most everything around th house and in life is on me. I knew if I were going to be around to take care of him, I had to take care of my weight and get healthier.

I has been very challenging sticking to all the rules and making all the changes in the midst of this going on. I have just always done the best I could in each challenge faced. I do pretty well with it, but of course like anyone, not perfect.

Thnks for the congrats.. it hasn't been the easiest thing. It helps alot with having this group to hold my self accountable to. I can't help others if I do not help myself.

You hang in there. Find some new comfort items that are non food, that you can turn to when you need that soothing and comforting. keep up the good work!

Thanks - yes I need to find something else for the stress.  You have accomplished a lot in the midst of it all.  Aren't we glad that God is an all knowing and loving God that understands our shortcomings and loves us anyway.

mb

Yes.. we definately are!

Had a bad night.  I came home to find out that my adopted daughter was in a verbal altercation with a mean little girl that called her racist names.  Got frustrated with my husband for not asking any questions about the incident and what was said and done.  Guess it set me off and I yelled at him for 20 minutes. Not good.  We don't fight as a norm.  I'm sure its because I'm not sleeping, was having a problem with the vomiting and don't feel as though my psych meds are working.  I talked to my psychiatrist's assistant (no she didn't call me herself) and got no where.  I don't think she understands the significance of the body changes that we're going through. Plus they had to take away the extended release form of my med due to the surgery.    Was up every hour last night, finally gave up at 3:45 a.m.  Got up and read the word and prayed, called my husband to apologize (he works nights) and then cried because I really didn't get much support from him.  His answer to everything was "I don't know."  What is it about (some) men who don't get it that we don't want them to answers we just want them to be supportive.  Oh well.  Such is life.  After 33 years of marriage you'd think I'd get it.


I was able to keep down one protein drink and eat a little tuna last night without vomiting - so that's good. Kept my meds down this morning too.  I have hope that today is a better day. Keep me in your prayers please.

Thanks,
mb