Feeling Lost

Feeling lost! I had my surgery back in August. Since the surgery I’ve had a lot going on in life. I moved clear across the country from California to Florida. I finalized my divorce, I’m in between jobs and I’ve stopped losing weight. I can’t seem to motivate myself to workout, stay positive or stay away from sweets. I know what I need to do … I’m just not sure what is causing me to sabotage myself. I haven’t been to a support meeting since before my surgery. Where I live is pretty rural and isn’t much going on here. I’m home alone throughout the day with only my thoughts. I really don’t have anyone one here other then my roommate …. No family, friends or support system that knows what I’m going through. I need someone that could push and motivate me to be better and stronger. I know I’m capable …. I’m just trying to find it deep inside. Thanks for listening.   

hi, i'm new to this and just had surgery, although think by reaching out you are taking a step in the right direction!  Getting involved with support group seems to be key! sometimes looking at the big picture can seem overwhelming, try taking little steps to get back on track..... :)  add one goal at a time..... How is the weather in Florida? :)  

Great ideas Jennifer.  Looking forward to hearing more of your story too.

hi!!!!  what is your name. i'm vickie osenbaugh but i go by vick.  first off, reaching out and admitting you are having a problem is a big deal!!! congratulations to you for doing that. you have a wonderful support group right here.  check in every day and let us know what you have done that day. exercise, protein, water, no no sweets.  telll us all of it. let us support you and also give you loving taps on your knuckles. the good news is that today is a new day and you get to start all over on this day.  you need to take advantage of your tool while it is still working for you.  i started stalling when i wasn't getting enough calories in of the good stuff.  i went into starvation mode.  i upped my caloric intake, no sweets (but maybe a sugar free treat now and then), and i started losing again. the key is to keep a log. i perfer to just use paper and pen but on your profile page there is a tracker you can use on the computer. you also sound very depressed, who wouldn't be. you are in the grieving process. you lost your husband, home, friends, job. maybe go to your doctor and ask for some anti depressants.  if you still have insurance, go to counseling.  i know i have had to make use of both.  please ask me to be your friend. pm me.  in fact i till ask you to be my friend.  by posting like this you help others who might be to timid to post like you have. hang in there, get some help, start logging, start posting with your name so we can get to know you, reach out. we care, i care.  huggs, vick

You made the best first step by reaching out to us.  You have had many life changes in the last few months, it is easy to slip into old habits.  

Words of wisdom from me to you - I find that when I am stressed, I crave carbs.  Do the exercise, even when you do not want to.  Try to at least walk a few blocks.  On those days when I do not feel like exercising, I force myself to go outside and do something, usually 10 minutes into the activity, I start to feel better and can continue my workout.  Maybe even volunteer to walk dogs at the animal shelter, warm fuzzies from the dogs and exercise for you plus you get out of the house.

Come back often to share with us, offer opinions to others.  Group support is the best.  Hugs

Thank you Jennifer, Vick and Kathy ….. Tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to Busch Gardens on Sunday with my boyfriend. It’s going to be the start of a new journey for me. I’m gonna let loose … ride some rides (cuz I can fit into them now, no problem =P) and think about getting back on track. I don’t have insurance, that was back in California … and when I had a job =( … but all is good. I try to stay grounded, positive and open minded … it’s just hard not getting up every morning to go to work. I haven’t been unemployed in 19 years! I feel like a bum. You would think I could take this opportunity and work out like the “biggest losers" contestants!  But that’s not happening. I get on my treadmill start working out and my lil monster (in profile pix) comes over and bugs me cuz she’s lonely. I know …. I just need to get her used to me working out and doing my own thing. She’s still a puppy and will learn with time. Anyways …. The weather is beautiful here … it warmed up this weekend. The only thing I hate here is … the humidity!!! We didn’t have humidity like this back in Cali. Also … I need to do a pouch test …. Does anyone have the information on how to do this??? I don’t have the funds to buy the book (unemployed). Lots of love Kelly/KraZyRellO/KraZygiRl …. My gamer tags!

Hi just wanted to say hello and maybe be some positive influence to you. We are all glad you here. Vick and Kathy they Rock lol ! I used to live in Daytona many many moons ago. So the one good thing is there is always some thing to do in Florida a lot of outtings. Check out the pennysaver there for some support groups in your town.  Vick and Kathy both have gave you some great advice. I would like to see you forgive yourself and not beat yourself up. You have come a long ways. We are all proud of you so you should be proud of yourself as well. You can do this you have already done most of the hard stuff. You are being honest and that is the hardest now love yourself again know you are worth it. Your life has just began. You can add me if you like and message me and I will give you my number if you need to hear a voice in time of need or just to laugh. It will be ok you seem like a very smart person and heading in a positive direction. I have a little secret for you as well.
It takes 45 days to make a habit and 45 days to break a habit. Make tomorrow the first day to make a habit mark 45 days from tomorrow on your calander and each day mark off as you get up and be positive and work towards your goal. Even if you have to check in with all of your friends lol then do it. Thats what this group is here for. I believe in you and so does every one else. Name is June nice to meet you what is your first Name?

Hi Kelly, is your pup a dachshund?  A little hard to tell from the avi.  I am a dog person too.  I have a yorkie and a black pom, pics of them on my page.  I live in northern MN and am so ready for the snow and ice to be gone.  Want to go for long walks with the dogs and not deal with the icy sidewalks.  We went for a walk yesterday, they puddle jumped and came home soggy and gritty.  The temp yesterday got up to 36.

For info on the pouch test, just type that into the search engine, you will find several sites with info. 

You've got lots of great ideas and support from all the above. I just wanted to add you took a positve first step by posting here and sharing all that's bothering you. You have had a lot to deal with and if you keep coming here and sharing we will all try to help. This is a great site for all of us who need lots of support and encouragement, so keep posting!

Rhonda

Kelly, I have not been around much as I have just had major surgery, but I am here from time to time checking in. Usually do not feel up to posting to every entry, but wanted to offer a tip to you.

When i go through difficult time, and they have been many in the past several months, it helps me a great deal to tune in.. deep inside and remember how I felt when I got approved for surgery and got my date set. I try to conjure up the feelings of hope, joy and excitement that I had then, and remember how important this all was to me and most importantly WHY it was so important to me. Then I use those memories to help propel me forward. I also allow myself to really remember (feeling the memory deep inside) how awful I felt being obese and having the comorbidities I did, and how hard it was just to breathe and tie my shoe, and how I got winded just talking to someone, and how I couldn't find the energy for much at all, other than a good long nap. And I remind myself how desperately I never want to be back there again. I know if I do not stay on top of things, I could end up back there. All of us can, if we do not take care to change our habits for the better and keep them good.

I KNOW this can be very very hard to do. But it is important we do it. Maybe you need to change the way you are viewing this time away from work and instead of feeling like a bum (as I am sure you are NOT) look at it as a gift of free time, that you have to work on getting your self into healthier habits and to get them engrained in your way of life. Make it your mission!
We are here to help you along, offer suggestions, support, encouragement, and accountability. We truly care about one another here. Keep reachibng out!

Maybe you could run an ad for an exercise buddy? Or take that cute lil pup of yours for a nice walk each day. One step at a time, back to the rules. before you know it, you will begin losing weight again. Take advantage of it now, won't be long and it will all be on you, as the surgery loses its effectiveness after a while. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! RAHHHH RAHHHHH RAHHHHHHHHH!!!