Bariatric Buddy
dumb sarah joke
Sarah the Painter |
Sarah decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these Sarah
jokes and how all Sarahs are perceived as stupid, so she decides to
show her husband that Sarahs really are smart. While her husband is off
at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the
house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down
to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the
distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife
lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski
jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all Sarahs
are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they
said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
I owe you 2 jokes today. Since I missed yesterday. Sooooooooooooo here weeeeeeeeeee goooooooooooo
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Amish Humor
Sign behind an Amish carriage:
"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.
CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"
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Bedside Manners
Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.
"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"
"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.
"I think you're bad luck."
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