A way to explain it to my friends who don't understand

I was looking for a way to explain my decision to my friends that don't understand WLS and why I would undergo it.  Not because I want their approval because it isn't the friends that don't approve of the surgery that I want to explain it to...its the friends wh sincerely are worried about me.  This is what I came up with and how I gave those friends peace of mind.

I explained that it wasn't about vanity, that it is about quality of life.  It is about walking up a flight of stairs and being able to breath, its about taking the train into Penn Station and actually walking to my office ten blocks away without my ankles and knees swelling up and having to stop to catch my breath. Its about playing basketball with my daughter rather than sitting on the sidelines.  Its  about getting off the sidelines and being a participant in the game of life.

Believe it or not, it actually helped one of my very best friends come to peace with my surgery and understand why I have to do this.  There are a few more people I have to talk to, because the people that are scared for me are the ones that love me the most.

Sounds like one excellent way to explain it. How true and real! Kudo's to you for finding such a wonderful way to express your truth.

you did good.

personally you should not have to explain anything. a friends job is to support you  not judge you but stand by you.. I hope you have that in your friends.

 guess I'm using the wrong word...the people I'm telling are those closest to me and those I want to know.  The explanation is for the people that are worried and scared.  I've undergone a lot of surgeries of the past few years because of health issues, and the thought of me voluntarily undergoing any surgery scares them.  The explanation is more of a way to calm their fears and their misconceptions and help them understand how this will help me in the long run.  I'm surprised by the reaction of a few of those closest to me, and to them, the discussion is over...the judgemental people do not rate an explanation. I was shocked and dismayed by their reaction and it has changed the plane of our friendship in dramatic ways.   I only mentioned it to my father because it is major surgery, I've had other surgeries over the years that he has never even known about.  I mentioned it to my in  laws, because they are the most wonderful supportive people in the world and I love them as if they are my own parents....and they would kill me if I didn't...but that's another story :) 

I think you came up with a great explanation!

Colleen

I like the way you explained this in your first post.  The ones that are having fears will have them, no matter what or how you explain them.  Some of our relationships will change after surgery.  There is no way to predict the real acceptance and outcome of the relationship until your surgery is complete and you are losing weight.  Those that matter will be there and support you.  I still have family members that are unaware of my surgery.  due to my omitting to tell them.  Not worth the stress that their knowing would have put on my shoulders and mind.

Keep the explaination simple, that you need to do something to improve your health.  You can make a list of the risks and benefits of surgery and come up with a story that the risks and benefits point that this is your best chance for health.  Hope the talks go well.  Best of luck