Bariatric Buddy
joke, off color and painful
Amish Buggy
An Amish lady was driving her horse drawn buggy to town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrol officer.
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer, "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," said the Amish lady, "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as we return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed that one of the reins to your horse is tied around your horse's testicles. Some might consider this to be ‘cruelty to animals' so you'd best have your husband check this, too."
"Again I thank thee," said the Amish lady, "I shall have my husband check this also when I return home."
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector and her husband said that he would repair it immediately. "Also," said the Amish lady, "the policeman said that there was something wrong with our emergency brake."
EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
R.I.P.
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome