Bariatric Buddy
joke
|
A Stranger In the Night |
A man and his wife were awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning
by a loud pounding on the door. The man got up and went to the
door where an inebriated stranger was standing in pouring rain,
asking for a push.
"Not a chance" said the husband - "It's three o'clock in the morning!"
He slammed the door and returned to bed.
"Who was it?" asked his wife.
"Just a drunken stranger asking for a push."
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I didn't - it's three in the morning and raining cats and dogs
out there!"
"Well you've got a short memory," said the wife. "Can't you remember
about three months ago when we broke down on vacation and those
two guys helped us? I think you should help him."
The man did as she suggested. He got dressed and went out into the
pounding rain. He called out in the darkness, "Hello are you still there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"Do you still want a push?"
"Yes, please!" came the reply.
"Where are you?" asked the husband.
"Over here on the swing," the drunk replied.
EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
Children Are Quick
____________________________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
advertisement
Patrece S.
Group Leader
Kathy B.
Co- Leader