In need of venting!

I love my husband 100% no question asked but sometimes he can make me soooooo mad, to the point i cry.

Going into this surgery and life change he promised me that he would loose weight and do this with me, even though he did not have the by pass. Tonight for dinner, I though we'd make some chicken, mine pureed of course, and a vegetable and eat healthy. No half way to the store is a McDonald's and that's where we stopped. UGH!! cant eat that totally not cool to stop there. He went in to get his dinner, I waited in the car. He comes out with an extra large chocolate shake, 2 chicken sandwich and large order of fries. And wonders why I'm so upset! He is not helping me here, don't know how bad I want to pick up the shake, fries or sandwich and take a nice sip/bite, BUT NO I have will power to say no, and the thought of dumping running through my head. He did the same thing earlier, I'm craving a carbonated beverage, and he pops a can and sits down. I understand he is a big boy (6' 7" 382lbs)  and needs to eat more then me right now, but he is not helping bring piz za in the house when I crave piz za, have a milkshake when Id love to have one, or McDonalds in general, just little things that upset me, and make me wonder why did I have this surgery, then I remember as of today I am down 29.6 pounds and know I'm going to continue to loose   this weight and be healthy. I just wish there were ways I could have a few things like a shake too and not get so sick.

So once again I am on my own for dinner, not that I am hungry nor do I really want anything but I will force myself to eat something. Looks like a tablespoon of yogurt for dinner.

Thank you for listening, or in this case reading. I'm sure I'll get over the act of "jealousy" that he can have foods and snacks that  I can't, but I remind myself i am getting healthier. and one day he (or so he promises) will be in my shoes and will know what this feeling is like.

Hi Melissa, this is my second attempt to reply to you, got bumped for an update before I could hit send.  Shortened version this time.  My hubby does likewise.  We work alternate shifts and do not get to share a meal together often.  I try to get and keep appropriate foods, healthy ones in the fridge for him.  Feels like I talk to a brick wall at times. 

I have been asking for the same gift from him every time he asks what I want.  My request is for him to join me for exercise at the gym.  I tell him that I want him to be a healthy as possible so that we can spend many more years together.  He tries, still doesn't understand what a carb is.

Dennis does ask if I want anything when he goes for fast food, I don't of course, but he does ask.  Then tries to not eat those foods in front of me.  I do my part by leaving health things for him in the fridge.  I hide healthy things in foods that he will try, best that he does not ask about the preparation.  Cooking in private is good for my soul.  When I really crave chocolate or a shake, or such, I make a frozen protein shake.  Getting the recipe down so that I do not feel deprived.

Come back to vent any old time you need.  I am here for your support.  This will pass, hoping your health new habits rub off on your hubby.  Hugs, Kathy

my husband eats what he wants in front of me, it was me that decided to have this surgery and lose weight.  i'm lucky because i don't really want what he has.  now, i sort of eat different from the rest of you, because, get this, i am trying to gain weight.  lol  i just wonder what i will do when the honeymoon is over on this weightloss deal and i am used to eating stuff i shouldn't be (even though my doc is ordering me to eat all the time and gain weight)  i know it is hard to get used to, but you can do this. when your husband is ready to try and lose weight he will do it, with your help.  i know the more people bugged me about my weight, the more i dug my heals in and ate even more. good luck to you. also, keep in mind, that right now your hormones are going crazy because when a fat cell disappears it releases hormones.  your swimming in them right now and it does make things tough. hang in there. vick

Hello!  I noticed you just had your surgery this month.  My family moved from NC to MI one week after my surgery.  We have two children so we pretty much had a convoy of cars and extended family and friends helping us move.  Over two days and nights, we stopped for pizza, fast food, and at yummy restraunts about 10 times.  It was sooooooo hard, my husband felt horrible but still had to eat and so did everyone else... the smells and sights of all the food drove me nuts but honestly that only lasted 3-4 weeks and it has not bothered me once since.  I seriously felt at one point that I would have rather been eating and wished I hadn't gotten the surgery... as sad as that sounds, that's how addicted to food I was/am.
Point being, it DOES get better and easier, I promise ya!  Good luck hun and tell your husband how you're feeling...

Thanks Kati for sharing that! Yes it does indeed get easier, at least it did for me. Hang in there sister. I know it is hard. Yopu need to set some ground rules. He can have what he wants, but he is NOT allowed to do so in your presence (fast food stuff****il you have a chance to adjust to all of this more. there can be a happy medium if he will allow it. Good luck!