chuckles-------------------------lol

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A Death in the Family

Sarah went to work one morning upset. She was in tears
and very upset.

After several minutes, her boss called her in his office
and asked, "What is wrong, is there something I can do?"

She replied "My mother died."

The boss then said, "Why don't you go home, you need some
time off."

Sarah replied," No, I would like to stay, it will help
me keep my mind occupied."

The boss then replied, "OK, but if you should change your
mind, just let me know."

The day went on and all was going fairly smooth, when all
of a sudden, the boss heard Sarah sobbing loudly.
He went out to her desk and asked, "What has happened now?"

She replied, "My twin sister just called, and her mother
died too!"

 

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tehetehetehe


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 DRIVING
   
    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
    could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
    along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
    but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
    seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
    have sworn we just went Through a red light.'
   
    After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
    and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
    woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
    had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
    it. She was getting nervous.
   
    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
    and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
    and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
    through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
    both!'
   
    Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, my, am I driving?'

Ole's Hunting Accident:

Ole was out enjoying a nice morning of duck hunting when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree and propped up his shotgun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged , shooting him in the genitals.

   
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by the doctor, who said, "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're going to be okay. The damage was local to your groin. There was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all the buckshot. The bad news is that there was some pretty intensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

 
   

 

"Vell, I guess dat issn't tew bad," Ole replied. "Iss yewr sister vun of dem plastic surgeons?"

 

"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Minneapolis Symphony. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."

yuck yuck yuck. 

You gals just keep finding better and better jokes.. hehehe thanks for the laugh!