Bariatric Buddy
joke of the day!!!
sarah went to louisiana and was shopping for a pair of genuine alligator shoes. they were so expensive that she swore to a shop keeper she was going to hunt and alligator herself and get some cheap shoes. the shop keeper told her "good luck"
later the shop keeper was driving home and he saw sarah standing in the swamp with a shootgun. up roared a 9 foot alligator, sarah shot and hit it, killing it. she flipped up on the shore along with several other dead alligators. sarah climbed out of the swamp and slipped the alligator over and said "dang it, this alligator doesn't have any shoes either!!"
yuck, yuck, yuck
later the shop keeper was driving home and he saw sarah standing in the swamp with a shootgun. up roared a 9 foot alligator, sarah shot and hit it, killing it. she flipped up on the shore along with several other dead alligators. sarah climbed out of the swamp and slipped the alligator over and said "dang it, this alligator doesn't have any shoes either!!"
yuck, yuck, yuck
EXPERIENCE WITHOUT REFLECTION IS HOLLOW
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Die****er whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'IWon! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called...THERAPY
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Die****er whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'IWon! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called...THERAPY
OH Support Group Leader
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
Come visit us at the bariatric buddy group http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bariatricbuddy/welcome
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Patrece S.
Group Leader
Kathy B.
Co- Leader