Struggling already, and I am embaressed

I am eight days post op, and I am already struggling. More of a mental struggle than anything, and at least I know that much. I am totally mourning food. Not junk food, I kicked that habit during the pre op diet, but I am craving food experiences. What if husband wants to go to dinner, but what good would me going do? He understands and is supportive, isn't making me feel bad. I WANT to be able to go to dinner with him, or to a movie with a healthy snack. I guess I never realized how much of what I do involves food. My mother's boyfriend even made a "you buying dinner" joke and I was like, man I am worthless in this area now. I don't want the chicken nuggets or stuffing my face to discomfort, but I am sick of soup at this point! I want to enjoy life with my family instead of being "oh lets go do this....oh wait we can't because of Crystal"

I feel like such a fool sitting here crying over something so trivial. I needed this surgery to save my life, for my kids and I find myself resenting it already. I guess you could say I want my cake and to eat it too, pun intended.

Is my emotional day today normal? Does it go away?

Crystal, you are having hormone issues with weight loss.  There is an article in the blog area (find this in the box to the right, above Patrece's pic)  go down a few articles to the one that talkes about hormones.  This will explain some of the mood swings.  You will, yes will, be able to go out with your family again, the relationship with the food will be changed, but instead focus on the company you are with, the movie, the conversation etc.

I go out with my hubby, just ask for a to go box with your meal.  Put away some to have at another time.  I have enjoyed leftover steak in scrambled eggs the next day.   travelled with my dad on a road trip about 4 weeks out from surgery, managed to find things I could eat while on the road.  Truck stops instead of fast food, eggs, refried beans, soup were easy to deal with after surgery.  i even went to a movie with my hubby after Christmas, nibbled a few kernels of his popcorn and enjoyed the movie.  The movie theater near our house even had free cup of ice that I added water to for sipping on during the flick.

Go ahead and enjoy life, be active, have fun.  Take care and know that the hormone changes will resolve.  Check out the article.  Lots of friendly hugs headed your way.

Crystal,
Just hang in there, I felt that way a few days ago. My Husband though supports me. He went out for Chinese and brought it home. Of course in man wisdom he said so you don't have to cook me something. For about an hour I was upset even cried. Then remembered I made this choice and well be able to eat like my family just less. I am just a few days ahead of you. So we will walk this road together .
Terri

This is a very big issue for many many weightloss surgery patients. Yes many do actually go through a period of "mourning" food loss. It is very normal.  many of us used food as a reward, comfort, social tool, a way to please others even. Life is very focused on food as a way to have family time and social time. You can be a part of all of this tho. Will it always be easy? No way! Is it worth it? You betcha! It gets much easier with time. and if you find you are really struggling bad for an ongoing period of time, get help with it.
When my hubby and i went out to eat after my surgery, and for the first year or so after it, we'd decide on a meal we would both enjoy, that was also friendly to my wls, or at least parts of the meal were, and get a small plate on the side. I'd take a spponful of this, a small portion of that.. and we both had plenty to eat and it didn't seem as hard to go to eat doing it this way.

Don't feel like a fool. What you are experiencing is very real and very hard for many people. You just have to find tricks to help you work through it. Like someone said above, focus on the outting with those you enjoy and NOT the food. The best part is the people anyhow right? You will get stronger, and as your hormones subside, you will likely feel better. If not you may need to consider temporarily taking anti-depressants tohelp you through this time, or if you are already on them, you may not be absorbing enough of the med and may well need the dosage adjusted due to your malabsorptive procedure.
Hang in there and come vent, share and reach out anytime! And never feel ashamed or embarrassed. We "get it" we all have gone through a bit of it to one degree or another.

chrystal, i can't add to what anybody has already said, except to offer my support. hang in there. it does get better. vick

this is a struggle that many go through, i was amazed how much i thought about food and how much i thought about what i was giving up.  All you need to do is come here and vent / write when you need support, take things on a daily basis and if one day turns out to not be a good day, remember that tomorrow is another day to begin fresh.

Also keep in mind that sometimes people make jokes or comments and they may not think it will bother you or upset you.  Like your mom's bf, let him know those jokes don't help you.  And if your hubby is supportive of you, i'm sure he will give up going out to dinner for a while to support you. 

Stay strong and take care.