Accountability

Hello to all.

I haven't been doing all that great during the holidays and instead of seeking support from the group, I'm isolating and that's making me feel even worse.

So far, I have lost a total of 56 pounds.  I'm thrilled with that but at the same time, I'm disappointed that it isn't more.  I really thought I wouldn't start hitting plateaus until about the 80 pound mark.  I'm not the world's most patient person and this is making me a little crazy.  I swore I was going to stay off the scale, but I'm still weighing daily. 

One of the things I was looking forward to was dumping.  I know that sounds crazy, but I really felt like it was going to be a good thing for me to keep me in line.  My surgeon also views dumping syndrome as a good thing.  But based on some of the things I ate during the holidays, I think I might be "immune" to it.  I didn't eat large portions of anything, but was doing a lot of grazing on sweets and never got sick.  Maybe I just didn't eat enough of anything to start the dumping and I'm not going to test it out by eating more.  I am a compulsive overeater and am really struggling with "head hunger."  I  was attending OA meetings but stopped.  That is something that I need to get involved with again.  I also need to be more diligent about getting to the gym.  The last two days I have been doing some major housecleaning and gathering of things for a garage sale in the spring and at least I've been moving and not sitting on my butt.

On the upside, I have filled two bags with clothing to donate. I am currently wearing clothes I haven't been able to get into for 3 years and that feels terrific!  My mom had confiscated some of my clothing while I was putting on the weight again a couple of years ago.  She has now lost some weight herself and those things are getting too big for her so I'm getting some of my favorite shirts back.

I was hoping to be off my blood pressure meds but unfortunately I still need to take them.  I am getting all of my supplements in and am doing better with the protein and water, but there is still room for improvement, especially with the protein.

I know I've said this before but I need to make the committment to write into the group everyday and hold myself accountable.

Thats all for now.  I hope every one has a great evening!

Colleen

OK Colleen, time to get back on the bandwagon.  I am here for your support.  You can and will do what is right for you.  Do not put yourself down for past things.  Start over anew NOW.  Think twice or three times before putting something non protein into your body.  You know what needs to be done. 

Change up the exercise, increase your fluids and proteins and bust on through the plateau. 

Hugs from a friend, Kathy

colleen, i started hitting the ceiling on occasions at about a  month out. but i have lost 151 pounds (in all, including before my surgery) in about 14 months.  you just never can tell.  keep track of everything, that helps.  also, i started eating more amounts of good food (protein etc) and that broke my stall several times. i was stuck in starvation mode.  i don't know if this will work for you, but it helped me.  i have been isolating also and am just now getting active again so i know what you are talking about.  hope i will be talking to you tomorrow. vick

Colleen...I care about you and your success in this. I am and will always be here to support, encourage and hold you accountable.
FIRST.. don't isolate when the going gets tough gal..that the whole point of a support group, to help you through those times. Now I know, our nature makes us want to hide when we are feeling bad, but we have to fight that urge and reach out. So glad you did finally. Don't do this alone..You have too many people here who undestand and care about you and what you are going through and struggling with. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Maybe it is time to get back to OA, or maybe private sessions with someone who specializes in your area or struggle. (then there's always life coaches too ; )  I have a question for you to consider.. "did you feel that your OA meetings helped?" If so, try to get back to it. If it really wasn't your thing and you didn't find it beneficial and inspiring, its time to look at other avenues for asistance. Not everything works for everyone.

I'd be a liar if I told you I don't have times of struggle. WE ALL DO.. we are all so very beautifully human. Struggle helps us learn and grow, but it sure is not pleasant I know. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk / vent/ cry/ laugh/ whatever.
Now as far as your loss thus far, two things..FIRST you are doing awesome..whats it been maybe 3 months? I was down 51 lbs I think it was at 3 months out. Was a little over a year out before I was 100 lbs down. So really, give yourself some credit , as you have come a long way baby!  Secondly.. those little cheats didn't help. So..what can I do to help you get past your head hunger? And what can I do to help you be more compliant during those times of high temptation? ( I have these times too... I bet we all do to some degree...not a one of us does everything perfectly.)

When you find yourself craving sweets, try sweet fruits. While they do contain sugars, they are naturally occuring sugars and much healthier for us. This is how i handle my sweet tooth when it strikes, and it works for me. My favorites when i need my sweet fix is fresh pineapple (can get it already cut up in the produce dept) and white and seedless red grapes. If people that cohabitate with you keep foods around that are no's for you, ask them to please keep them put away somewhere so as not to add to your temptation.
When i first had my surgery, until about a year out the only "bad" foods that came in were ones I did not like at all but Paul did, or ones he specifically requested. Thjen they had a set spot to be kept in, and that spot was out of immediate sight. Now I can have more stuff in the house that is stuff I will not eat or should not eat, because it is easier for me to say no to them. But if something very tempting comes in, I mak sure whoever brings it in knows they need to keep it out of sight, or eat it in a reasonably quick time, so it is not around too long taunting me.

Colleen, I want you to think back.. i remember how excited you were for your surgery date to get here. (and I know you do too). Embrace the way you felt then. Get the hope and excitement back, and really embrace it and keep it alive! This will help you oh so mu*****ontinuing to improve each day with your choices and feelings even. And when you feel better, you most likely will not be as likely to go off track.  I hit my first plateau at 11 days out and stayed stalled out on it for almost 2 weeks! This has been my cycle since.. 2 or 3 weeks of losing, a week or 2  of stalling. Our bodies are trying to preserve themselves. Like Vick said, up the protein, add in a healthy snack and increase your water. these can all help. But the fact is our bodies are going to fight us on this now and then. Just know that if we stay devoted, we win out over our bodies. we just have to be more determined to lose than out bodies are to hang on to it all.

Congrats on the 2 bags of clothes that are too big for you. thjat is a major accomplishment!  It won't be long until you have to weed through em again. It is awesome that you are getting in your supplements and doing better on the protein. Again, a wonderful accomplishment. many never get decent at remembering to get in the supplements regularly. So way to go!

When you look at a food item you are about to put into your body..before you do, ask yourself "is this pouch worthy?" Did i go through all of this to put THIS in me? Will THIS help support me in my goals? Is this providing me with protein and other healthy nutrients? OR is this the junk that helped get me to where I was before my wls? Then do the next right thing with that food. You will know what it is.

Big hugs and lots of love coming at ya!
Patrece

Vicki, Kathy and especially Patrece, I want to thank you all for responding to my call for help.

I get so caught up in the things that I percieve to not be going my way that I forget the accomplishments. 

I belong to an online OA group but haven't been to a face-to-face meeting since the week before my surgery.  I am also a recovering alcoholic, sober for 15 years in AA.  I know that 12 Step programs work and I really need to get my butt back to that meeting.  I was recently in therapy, it was one of the conditions of my surgeon due to my having bipolar disorder.  Truthfully I was surprised that I passed the psych evak.  I'm very grateful to be able to say that my symptoms are under control with medication and I'm doing well in that department.

I really did appreciate you ladies coming to my aid; I did start feeling like I was all alone out here.  DUH!  I need to remember that help is only a few keystrokes away.

Colleen

Lots of hugs and love coming at you gal! And absolutely remember we are right here for you...24 /7!

Time to update that ticker isn't it? lol