Emotional Eating/Head Hunger

Okay you veterans out there- this has been on my mind since I first started thinking about WLS. How do you cope with and change your emotional attachment to food? I don't quite know how to put my question. I think I definitely have an eating disorder- I have been known to eat when I'm not even hungry and to keep eating to the point of making myself sick, even eating foods I don't really care for. This is not something that happens often but has been a pattern for me for many many years. I think of it as when a person with an alcohol problem goes on a bad binge- they drink too much sometimes, don't stay drunk all the time but every now and then they go off a complete binge. This may happen several times a year, usually when I'm dealing with lots of stress. When it happens I am lecturing myself in my head as I'm shoveling the food down but it's like I have no control. Very scary! What worries me is that I CANNOT behave this way after my body is physically altered. But will I be able to control it better then than now? I am usually  a rule follower and don't plan to push any limits to test whether I dum*****t or other no-nos. But this is a real worry. For a long time I thought WLS wouldn't work for me because of this, that it only worked for people who just ate too much and loved food too much. I definitely fit those too, but I have read  on support boards that other people shared my problem with the bingeing and they had the surgery and were able to be successful. But will I be able to do it? How did they? Anyone here with this problem and if so, how do you deal with it? I've seen articles and read book reviews by a woman named Genneen Roth about dealing with food addiction and emotional eating. Can't find her books in any local library branches and money is a little tight right now so can't buy them either. Anyone familiar with her or others that might help with this issue? I haven;t been able to find any OA groups in my area. We're very rural! Thanks guys, just for listening.

Rhonda

 HI Rhonda!  Can't address the veteran question, as I am only three weeks post-op.  But I can talk about Geneen Roth.  She is wonderful and really has some amazing books.  If you can't find them at your library, ask whether they do inter-library loans, where the library might be able to borrow it from another library for you.  Or, even though this will cost some it won't cost as much...try amazon.com and look for used book prices.  I would imagine you could find them for only a few bucks each.

Best wishes!

Guayas

Thanks, I will look on Amazon.com. I know used books are usually a good deal. I just haven't wanted to spend money on myself because the holidays are coming up and all. But I have to start putting myself higher up on my list of priorites. I know I am worth the money, and I would spend it on my family members, so shy not love myself too, right? Just hard to do sometimes. I have read several of Geneen's articles in whichever women's mag they are in. They make a lot of since and I will try to get her books. Thanks for the help and encouragement!

Rhonda

As part of your program for WLS, you should be required to have a psych eval to help determine if you are emotional and mentally able to handle and make the changes necessary to make the syrgery and your new lifestyle a success.  Surgery is only a tool...not a magice fix...there are a couple of other good books...you may want to try half.com to see if you can buy used......The Beck Diet Solution and The Emotional First aid Kit for Bariatric Surgery.
I would encourage u to continue with counseling as that is my intention.  Most of us did not have a healthy emotional/mental status to get to the weight we are.

Today, I went to my psych doc and ask her to help me figure out why I am fat as I could not figure it out for myself.  She helped me she that I ate to numb by emotions of anger and depression and sadness.  also, I celebrated happiness with food.  None of this is good so I must come up with a healthy coping strategy.

Seaqueen,

I have been to my first psych eval, he played devil's advocate about why I felt I needed Gastric bypass rather than the lap band procedure. I was caught by surprise as that was not at all what I had expected. i go back for a "personality test" for my next visit with him. I'm sure ongoing therapy would help but don't know if I could afford it.
I totally agree that I use food to numb my emotions, good or bad. I think I have always been the "good girl" who doesn't make waves, likes to keep everyone happy and hates controversy of any kind. I was born with that personality and I quess food helps to keep me nice and "level", at least on the surface. Except of course it only helps til I hate myself for stuffing and making myself sick and even fatter and more unhealthy! If only there were surgery to correct the emotional problems behind the eating!
thanks for the comments,
Rhonda

Hi Rhonda,

Great insight in one of your habits.  I have been guilty of that myself, in the past.  I would not even consider doing that to my new pouch.  I also went through counselling several years ago in dealing with other issues.  Some of the same strategies work, no matter what the emotional stress is that is top on your mind.  You need to come up with an alternative to gorging on food when stressed.  Some of the alternatives I use are writing or journalling, put the emotion down on paper (or computer), exercise gets me away from food options, calling a friend or even coming here to the group and sharing your sorrows, finding a hobby that involves your hands.  I am sure there are other options, those come to mind easily at the moment.  Don't have your trigger foods in the house.   

I agree with Guayas, try to see if the library has interlibrary loan, they can usually get most books, with a wait time of course.  By all means, try your best to be good to yourself, we all have our moments.  I am here for support.  Hugs, Kathy

Thanks for the support Kathy. I have noticed  that some people who were compulsive/emotional/binge eaters say they have developed a completely different relationship with food after surgery. That they were finally able to see it as just a necessary part of life to be healthy- eating to live instead of living to eat. Something about the whole structure of the RNY rules for success. I am praying that I will have at least some of that but I want to do everything I can to be as successful as possible. I can say that there  has been one time in my life when I did not binge, did not crave carbs, and felt in control of food rather than it being in control of me. that was about 4 years ago when I was on Atkins. I lost 50-60 lbs in 6 months, was unable to lose more but continued to eat that way and maintained that loss for another 6 months. Eating that way became a habit, second nature that I didn't even have to think about. I pray that I will feel that way after my RNY, once I have time to get into the routine of the new requirements.  And doing something with my hands does help. Being here online with you guys, exercising, and sewing/crafting would all be great. I'm gonna get those books somehow.

Thanks,
Rhonda

I am almost 3 weeks post op and my emotional eating has changed. In fact, I could quite easily forget to have a meal. I am on antidepressants and have been for several years, but that didn't change my eating. However, I feel up up up and the scale goes down down down and feel in control finally. My Surgeon keeps saying we used to live to eat and am changing to eat to live. What a concept. How much do you really want to lose weight? Ask yourself that question and talk to the surgeon. Trust in what he says.

Sometimes when we are thinking "attack the food" to fill an emotional hunger, we simply need to have a written plan of action steps to take when this urge strikes. I have one, and encourage those in my live support group to keep a list with action plans handy. Maybe a nice soothing hot bubble bath with some aroma added to the water and a candle or 2 burning. Lay back and just soak in the good feelings.  Read a good book that takes your mind off of the emotion you are trying to sooth. Definately come here and post and reply to the posts of others. Call a good strong and positive support person if you have one.. if not come here and call on us!
A good bariatric life coach could be very helpful too, if you hit a place where you are not able to do it on your own and need more personalized help, but then, there is a fee for that as well.

You definately have to learn to put you first more. By not doing so, you will not heal and move forward. Loving yourself and treating yourself lovingly is a big stepping stone to breaking the emotional eating cycle.
Hugs!

Thanks Naomi. It sounds like you're doing very well! I'm so looking forward to that lack of appeal of food. The funny thing is my attidtude about eating is already changing in some ways. For one thing, I'm not reading the cover of every magazine at the  checkout counter wondering if the next miracle "lose 30 lbs in 30 days" diet might work for me. I feel I've found the right solution and am just waiting for my turn to come. It has really made a differnce already!

Patrece,
Having a written plan is something I've never tried or even thought of. Of course I "know" all the right things to do but actually doing them is a different story. But if I pulled out  a written list of what to do instead it might just make a difference. I'll definitely try that. I' m also thinking that the fear of failing after WLS thru not followng the rules will be a big deterrent too.

Thank you all for the ideas and support. I can see that all of you will most definitely be my biggest help thru whatever hurdles may come up on the road to finding me.
Hugs,
Rhonda