Doubts

After 8 long months of hoping, praying, and many doctors’ appointments to make this happen, I am finally on my way. Now, to my utter dismay, I am riddled w/doubts and what-ifs. I am utterly confused by my feelings. When I downloaded my finalized itinerary with all my pre-op appointments, testing, diet, and surgery date/time, I became overwhelmed with “I can’t do this." I am embarrassed to even admit how I feel. I keep thinking “I am 54; what the heck am I doing?" Tell me this is completely normal. I have already been told this is normal. I think I just need to hear it again. I sound like a wuss.

dasie, boy do u sound normal.  i felt the same way and i was told this was normal.  you need to do some last minute soul searching to make sure you are willing to do the vitamins and supplements the rest of your lift, because this is life and death.  if u are willing to do this, then you have a fantastic tool at your disposal to lose that fat that is cutting your life short. if u are not willing to do the vitamins and supplements then don't do it.  hope this will help you, you are not alone. vick

Dasie, (((((hugs)))))

Time to put things in writing.  Start with a plain paper.  Make two columns.  One with the benefits of continuing with the plan of surgery, the things that you will be able to do that you can not do at this time.  The other column the benefits of not having surgery and continuing along the life course you are on.

Search you soul, listen to the part of your head that is making rational decisions.  We can not make this decision for you.  If you need more time before surgery, let the surgeon know.  They would rather you be 100% committed to whatever route you find in your best interest.

Having doubt is one of the things that we as humans do.  Please keep up the honesty.  The only one you are harming or helping is yourself.  We are here to be a sounding board and support your decisions.  Take some tome today to make the lists.  Talk with family members, counselor, clergy, whoever feels safe to explore your feelings.

I am keeping you in my thoughts this weekend.  Looking to see your decision one of these days.  Take your time and consider the options.  Hugs, Kathy

Hi Dasie. Yes...very very normal indeed. If you had no doubts or concerns, you wouldn't be being realistic with yourself. So this is actually a very good and healthy way to feel right now. After a long battle and finally haring that things are going to move forward, you are probably feeling overwhelmed. Thats so normal too.
Only you know what is right for you. As far as being 54 years old and thinking in that way...let me share with you this: I have a live support group. 2 of my members had this surgery at an age beyond yours. One lady is 59 and had hers 5 months ago. The other woman is 70 and had her surgery 2 months ago. I asked the elder of the 2 how she felt about having her surgery so late in life, and she said she felt great about it, as she figured at her age, if things went bad, she had a full life already. If they went well, then she could truly LIVE life for however long she has left, and that was most important to her. I will add she is a spry and active and sharp woman.  She has no regrets. She feels this surgery not only is improving the quality of her life, but most likely the longivity as well.
Only you know if the risks outweigh the benefits. I strongly encourage you to do as Kathy recommended. It may help put things in perspective for you.  There are risks involved in having this surgery, yes. So compare these to the risks you face with remaining obese, how the obesity affects your quality of life and decide from there. It is likely you are having a case of "cold feet".
But as Vicki said too, you must be sure you can commit to keeping up on your supplements and doing the things necessary to remain healthy for the rest of your life, which is likely to be many more years.
My surgeon told me that people who have this surgery and have even minimal health problems prior to it, extend thier lives by at least 8 years by reducing the work on thier heat. If there are other health issues related to the obesity present, as they improve, you are adding that many more years to your life.
I know you are feeling very lost and helpless right now and confused. Its okay tho. Use these feelings as a tool to help you insure uyou are doing what you truly want and need to do, research alot, and ask tons of questions. This is your life and you must do what ever is right for you. We are here to support and encourage you, whatever you should decide.
Big hugs to you!

I think this is a normal human response.  i just had surgery last week and was having doubts up until the time I went in and came out of surgery.  But as of right now, I am very happy.  This does take a lot of courage!

I really appreciate everyone taking time to comment.  I think the approval came so quickly, I was caught  off-guard.  Aetna told me to expect 4-5 weeks.  My surgeon was notified in 1 week.  So suddenly I had to shift gears a little quicker than I expected.  I think once the itinerary came, I was overwhelmed.  Anyway, I am not concerned about the commitment. I think it is perhaps the unknown that has me off-center.   

Thanks guys....

You sound extremely normal... I had tons of doubts before my surgery but in the end I would not change a thing! If you have any real concerns or questions just make sure you have them answered by your doc before the surgery so you go in with both eyes open.

Hugs,

Dasie, you are very welcome! Reach out to us anytime we can help you along in your journey! Hugs!

Hi all!  I am three days away from surgery and am still having doubts.  You should have seen me at the beginning of the week....I was totally freaking out!  I think what happened is that for so long (9 months) I was totally focused on being approved for surgery and then actually getting the date.  Then, when I got the date, my focused totally changed.  With the date or the prospoect no longer an unknown, all of a sudden it was time to really examine whether or not I wanted to do it and could commit to the change in lifestyle.  

Since that time 6 weeks ago, my doubts have ebbed little by little, replaced by more certainty and even greater commitment.  And even now, when a doubt pops into my head, I look at it as an opportunity to test my resolve and reaffirm my commitment.  The time it takes to work through each doubt is also ebbing, and each time I work through it, it leads me to the same place....

The risks of having the surgery far outweigh the risks of not having it. 

And the changes that I am going to be required to make in my life (supplements, food choices, exercise, avoiding some of the foods that I haven't in the past) are, well, they are darn well about time!!!  I've eaten enough "bad" food to last a lifetime.  And ice cream or potato chips or hamburgers or pizza, etc., that I will have to say no to are going to taste no diferent than the 1,000s of others I have already had in my lifetime.  I've eaten a lifetime of those things already.  NOW...it's time to focus on ME and health and life instead of potato chips and pizza!!! 

The doubts are not only normal...they are necessary.  They test our resolve and give us the opportunity to reaffirm that this is the right things for us to do!!  :)  You don't sound like a wuss to me....you sound like a wise woman!!

Guayas...you too sound like a very wise woman! You have a great attitude and wonderful perspective! Keep up the great work. I am so proud of you! Thank you for sharing your insights with everyone. It really helps others!
3 days huh? WOWWWEEEEE you must be getting very excited! Saving you space on the losers bench with us! You are in my thoughts, heart and prayers for a very smooth transition in your journey!

Great to hear from you here! PLEASE let us know how your surgery goes as soon as you are up to it...okay?
Love and hugs!