Strange day yesterday...

Seems I have been repressing a lot of anger I wasn't really aware I was having. Or maybe it was that I choose not to let the things bother me and bring me down, I was fine in the morning, then took a nap. Woke up from my nap in a mood. Irritable, and kind of angry. Angry with my son and Lisa..his woman, angry with a friend of mine here thats been a jerk lately, angry with my husband for not even trying to move forward, tired of the poor me I'm totally helpless thing, lost of stuff ... even angry with myself for always being too good to everyone else, and sacrificing constantly of myself for people who never are there when I need help. Unfortunately, it is still with me this morning.
I took advantage of my mood yesterday and confronted the friend. I'm glad I did....it needed to be addressed, however, I am not sure I wish to maintain that friendship. She has some pretty messed up ideas on what my end of the friendship should be even tho she doesn't feel the need to offer anything back. Then I call her, and call her out on it, and I hear how she's missed having me in her life so much and she's so sorry and really needs our friendship. I told her, i don't need a friendship that is nothing but a source of pain and struggle. Told her its not worth it. She ended up asking me over and over to try again to maintain our friendship. Just dunno. Friends just don't act like she has been acting. Not a real friend. At least not in my opinion. But I told her exactly how I felt, and pulled no punches, and that was rather liberating.

Next my son.. he and I and his sweety have to have a long talk. Everytime we get something he likes or she likes, the first thing they say is, ohhh can we have it when you guys die.? I feel like they are wishing death upon us so they can have what they want. Also we have helped them out more than you can imagine, and never...never are they here for us when we need help. That battle remains to be faced.

Ahhhhhh well.. was nice to vent a bit.. sorry to lay my "stuff" on you guys. Just had to let it out. Thanks for "listening"

Oh Patrece, first of all, don't ever feel you have to apologize for venting in here...that's what we're here for. God knows you listen to all of our gripes and complains. *Big Hug* I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate right now. Good for you, though, for confronting your friend. Those kinds of angers are never good to keep inside. And I totally agree with you, if a friendship drains  you and never gives anything back, it might be time to take a good hard look at that friendship.

Good luck talking to your son and his girl. Personally I wouldn't dream of saying something like that to my mother. Even the idea of her passing is too painful for me to even think about. I wouldn't even say something like that in a joking way. Sorry, just my two cents. I think you have every right to speak your mind. 

I'm sending lots of prayers your way that today will be a better day for you, Patrece.
Love and hugs,
Sukie

Whew, I was sweating out reading you note.  So glad you didn't call me yesterday.lol   Hugs (((((Patrece))))))), that's what are friends for,  go ahead and dump here, emotional dump that is.  Go ahead and call me when you need feedback on your emotions.  How liberating to say what you have been repressing.  Emotional stress is not good for any of us.

Your son and his girl need to adjust their attitudes.  If they want something, plan for it, save and they can have anything they need.  That is the way the rest of us get what we want.  Never mind you if we neeeeeeed it.  Time to have an enlightening talk with them too. 

Get weebles and give her a great big hug.  When she hugs you, I am wrapping my arms around you, sharing my hug too.  Remember, we are walking together (long distance).  It is good for the soul.

Anything else tucked away in there causing concern?  Just look this way and unload your woes.  Thanks for listening when I needed the shoulder too.

Hugs, Kathy

Thanks for listening and for the support and love ladies. When my son made that comment about wanting the house when we die, I asked him "well, do you think it would be okay if we hang around for a few more years?"
It really hurts, especially because it is something that has been said a few different times now. I feel like he's hoping we will just die...
I'll just leave everything to my dogs! That'll teach em!