epiphany of sorts

I guess you could say I have had an epiphany  this morning as I laid in bed, exhausted and sick. I heard someone say on the TV that life is fragile. This is nothing new of course but as I lay there thinking about it, I came to realize that yes our life is very fragile.
It is like an delicate wine glass balancing on an wobbly table. How we look after that glass and what we put in it will determine whether it will remain intact or shatter on the floor.  My glass is teetering right now , it is full to the top of nasty things and the base is wobbly from the way I live my life. I am 55 years old. Between my two jobs I work 7 days a week, fill my glass full of crap, unhealthily food, no nutrients and I wonder why I am at home sick? I find myself wondering if I will even survive the surgery some days. I read or hear of people who haven't survived after the surgery for various reasons, I think I am so unhealthy how can I do it? 
Why do we continue to treat our bodies and life like it will go on forever, will our bodies never rebel from the treatment we give it?  I know intellectually what to do, can I do it? Probably not. Even as I write this I am thinking about the pudding in the fridge. Its made with milk you know! LOL
So this is something to chew on (pardon the pun) for thought and discussion. How do the rest of you feel?  How do we change this pattern after so many years of abuse? I would be interested in hearing your thoughts.

Whew girl.  I applaud you.

You just laid out the beginnings of a great sermon.  The mental image I had........  There are three parts to a wine glass, the foot, the stem and the bowl.  We need to start with a firm support for the base.  This support is your support system.  Make a mental image of the commercial for that special ma tress where the girl bounces around and the wine glass remains upright.  Your support circle is that special mattress.  Keeping your glass balanced.  Your friends here at OH are part of that mattress.

Next we need to strengthen the foot (base).  The base will need help by removing some of the topside load of crap that we have put into our bodies.  So think about what is needed for our health.  One stable base structure is the triangle.  Let's look at out triangle of food, exercise and rest.  We need good nutritious food to fuel our bodies.  Protein, fluids, vitamins, veggies, fruits.  We also need strong healthy bones and muscles.  Exercise, cardiovascular and strengthening.  We need balance between activity and rest.  Get your 8 hours of sleep each night.  This balances out a good solid base. 

The stem of the glass is centered.  That is our mental well being.  If your 'stem' is not centered, seek out counsel for mental stability.  Be it a mental health worker, clergy, a good friend who will "tell it to you as it is", your friends here at OH.

Now for the fun stuff in the bowl of our wine glass.  The balance between stress and fun.  Work, family, friends, faith, pets, artistic outlets, reading, the list gets endless.  I started the list with work, that does not mean that work is the top of the list.  We each need to prioritize our needs.  

To summarize the image and keep your glass stable.  Your support circle is that special mattress.  Keeping your glass balanced.  Your food, exercise and rest are the foot or base of your glass.  Your mental outlook is the stem of the glass.  If these are in place, you can and should fill the bowl of the glass with things that mean the most family, health, friends, hobbies, faith, the list goes on.  Personalize the list to your own needs.  Fill the bowl with all good things and there will not be room for bad things, those bad things will no longer be priorities and will just slip right over the rim and seep out of your life. 

What can we do to jump start the glass theory.  We can stop the bad habits and start to develop good ones.  It takes about three weeks of doing something before it becomes habit.  I can do nearly anything I set my mind to for three weeks, how about you?  Can you follow the pre-op diet set out by your physician? Yes.  Can you stop smoking?  Yes.  Can you give up caffeine and sodas?  Yes.  Can you start small things in an exercise plan?  Yes.  Can you clean your cupboards of junk food?  Yes.  At least have one that is designated the good snack area.  The questions..... you fill in what you need to do.  The answers are yours to focus on.  We are here to support you as you make the needed changes in your life.

The end.  Getting off my soap box before this becomes a book.

very well said Kathy  good discussion

it is very important to make priorities in life and that is what u need to do.  i know it is not always easy to carry through, but it can be done. reward yourself with healthy things for doing the right thing. you are already punishing yourself by how your body is doing.  make a list of what is truely important in your life, and not b.s.ing about it. be honest.  then make a note beside each one what the results are of this thing in your life.  how it effects you.  come back here for support, or whereever you feel comfortable, just get it.  good luck to you. sounds like u are very depressed.  talk to your doc about some meds and maybe some counselling.  hang in there. vick

Thanks for your comments.
I actually am not depressed just fighting a sickness and when I get sick I beat myself up for what I do to my body. Believe me I know depression, I have been there. I just thought it was an interesting analogy more than anything else and would make a good discussion topic as I feel we are all hard on our bodies or we wouldn't be in this situation of obesity. I do not look after myself as well as I should. I have spent my life looking after others, now it is hard to make time for me. But I feel that as women we are trained to look after everyone but our selves.
Thanks for the comments and support everyone, I have been more of a voyeur on this site, I love to read posts and look at before and after pics while waiting for my surgery date. Not much of a post-er. Kind of shy about that, but when I open my mouth look out! LOL
This site gives me lots of inspiration. Keep it up everyone.

Hey Littled! Ok my turn... First I want to say that Kathy had some powerful analogies for you. Vick had some great suggestions too. My turn, but don't know how my ideas will stack up after those two! LOL.

First thing is first. We have to identify something here, that is common place among most humans, but really should not be. That is our "I don't have time for me and what I need" attitude or belief. Many of us are guilty of this, including myself. but have been doing tons of work in this area of my life. Here's the facts on this...We have this one life. If you do not live it for us to a degree now, when on earth will we? How rewarding are our lives really, when we overload ourselves with STUFF but don't take the time to put our loads down and see to our own wellbeing? If everyone and everything but us are always our priorities, whats the point anyhow? What I am saying is that our lives need to be a bit more about US and a little less about everyone and everything else. Life is meant to be lived.. not tolorated. And when we do not take care of us, soon we will be of NO GOOD to anyone else either. This is both unfair and sad, that we as humans have chosen to exist like this. As kathy said we need to find a balance. We need to care about ourselves as much as we do everyone and everything else, or its all pointless really. So this is where we decide, I am going to take the time to make sure I get at least one or two nutritious meals a day, because I DESERVE IT and NEED it to be healthy and have a more active and comfortable life. I am going to take that walk. I am not going to label it exercise, but just a walk, to look at the tree's and puppies, and kids playing and all of the precious and beautiful things surrounding me, that I haven't even noticed in months or maybe years. Time to walk and just "be". Think, sing, listen to music, enjoy your surroundings, listen to the birds singing, and as a bonus, you get some activity in.

Next..when you are fighting with the cravings, think about what those foods have created in your life. Are they really THAT good? I just don't think so anymore. You can find healthy foods that are delicious as well, and if you are at all like me, eventually, you will prefer a few pinapple slices or grapes instead of those sweets  that added to our health problems. WLS is not brain surgery, as they say. Many find that working with a counselor that specialized in food addictions or eating disorders is needed, to help them work through the food issues they face. Most of it will just come down to how much you really want to lose weight and regain some good health and abilities lost years ago to the obesity and its alter ego's (health issues as a result of the obesity). We just have to make up our minds that we not only want, but deserve a better healthier life, and do what it takes to make it happen. wls is a wonderful tool to help us achieve the end results we are after, but it still requires a dedication to lifestyle change for a lifetime! If this doesn't happen, regain will occur eventually.

As far as the question of surviving the surgery, surgery is surgery, and has the same risks. The risks increase with our various health issues, but you'd have the same risks with a galbladder removal suirgery as you would with weight loss surgery. There can be complications after surgery, but for the most part for most people things go well. Be fully informed, know the possible complications, and know that you are willing to accept the possibility of them happening before choosing to do the surgery. Then also ask yourself, how long will I live without losing this weight? What will the quality of my life be if I remain obese? Then decide from there what is best for you. For me I'd have rather died on the operating table than to continue to live my obese unhappy and unhealthy existance. It may not be how you or many others feel. For me, it was.

So... there's my 2 cents worth of opinion. Hope this help shed some new perspective on things,
Hugs and love!
patrece

Wow, this thread was fun yesterday.  We all got to make some deep thoughts.  Hope the ideas gave you some inspiration.  I will take some ME time today.  Please take some for yourselves too.