hello, everyone

sorry i haven't been around much lately. had my incision lanced, actually cut real deep, so it could drain. now i go to the hospital three times a week for wound care. i have a pump device hooked up to me now and it is a pain in the keister. i thought the drains were bad. i went in for a for a cat scan friday, they are looking for pockets of abcess. hope there is none there. also any ulcers should show up. i started on some ulcer meds because my stomach seems to burn. don't know if it is my stomach or my incision from my hernia repair. hope it is the incision.  i have been taking care of my mom and dad every day. went monday for checkup in wichita falls and things seem to have gone down hill since then.  kind of down, well, really down right about now.  don't know if i can handle much more of all this stress.  hope everybody is doing great. you are a great bunch of ladies, with twisted senses of humor, which i like. lol  hugs, vick

Vick  I hope you get well soon.  You take care of yourself.  I will be praying for you.  Take care and God Bless.

Vick.. I am soooo sorry you are faced with so much difficulty right now. I sure do miss you, but understand your absence completely! If I lived near you I would do all I could to help you. You have so much on your plate. Is your Mom having problems too now? Do you have any sibblings that could help out some? Or perhaps thier health insurance could pay for some home health care? I know your Dad doesn't want that, but he needs to be fair to you and allow it. It's too much to handle all of thier health issues on top of your own right now.
Call me anytime...day or night, if you need to talk. I love you and feel so badly for all you face right now. Wish there was more i could do for you.  
Big giant hugs to you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always! Please let me know what they find going on with you.
Patrece

(((((Hugs Vick)))))) I have been thinking about you.  Miss you, but completely understand with your issues right now.  Make sure you don't get overwhelmed.  Take good care of that incision.  May you be blessed with rapid healing from this point forward.  Get some help with your parents if at all possible.

Great big hugs coming on down to TX for you. (((((Hugs))))) Kathy

my dad refuses to have outside help in outside of the lady who cleans their house. she only comes in one day a week for 2 hours, which doesn't help much. this is on top of her normal house cleaning every three weeks.  i told him he is being selfish but he won't budge, but i refuse to leave this in my mother's hands. she is on oxygen and uses a walker and a nebulizer four times a day and is exhausted.   i stay over at their house from 5-9 hours a day and physically and emotionally it is just too much for me and i know it is too much for my mom.  i have stopped helping him get up out of bed and stuff since i got cut on again so mom has to do this and i feel bad about it but it just can't be helped right now.  my only brother died about 4 years ago, i think he committed suicide and so does my husband. he death was ruled toxic levels of hydrocodone. he was so at peace the few days before he died, which was very unusual.   sorry for whinning sooooooooooooo much.  i really disappointed that 11 people have read my post and only three have replied.  i thought we had a better group than that.  whine, whine, whine.  thanks for your guys support and concern. love, vick

Vick, I am here to absorb whining any time.  Just lay out the venting.  So sorry to hear that you have no other family to rely on for support.  Does you dad have home care?  You need to have time for yourself to heal too.  I want you all better.  Are you getting in your protein?  Need lots of that for healing. 

During the time when my mom was dying and didn't want outside help, I eventually called hospice, more for dad than anything else.  I knew he would get follow up support from a good group of people.  Mom was so weak, she didn't have much say in the arrangement.  She was mad at me, but dad got such benefit for the next year after she passed.  I did it for my dad.  In hind sight, I would have signed her up earlier.  She was only on hospice a week.  I had a couple of good friends that were nurses that also came over to help with lifting her when she insisted on getting up.  I don't know what I would have done without them.  I wish you all the support locally that you need.  If I was in town, I would help you.  Too long a commute from MN to TX.  I am here for you.  ((((((Hugs)))))) Kathy

kathy, whine, whine, whine. hi it is me.  thanks for the support. the problem is is that my dad doesn't want strangers in the house.  don't think dad is dying now that he started eating. he has gained three pounds. so now he is up to 88.  he said yesterday that his bones are hurting more and more. he goes to the doc this wednesday and thursday. how is work going?  hope u aren't pushing yourself too hard. how are the babies?  have a great day. love, vick

Huggz out to you Vick... I miss you around here. Wish I was closer I would help you out too.
I hate to say this but I believe it is time to stand up to your dad and put him in place, let him know how this is affecting you. He needs to know that this has taken its toll on you.
And he needs to accept outside help, my mom is a home health care giver and believe me they know how to make folks settle down and accept the help without being snotty or anyones feelings being hurt. She just goes in for 1 to 3 hours a day to patients who's family members need a break.
Tell him if he dont accept the assistance for him and your mother, you will accept it for YOURSELF because you need a break, and if he cant live with that... Do it anyway! He will get used to it.
I hate to put it like this but this is what my mom said tell you.
Group Huggz,  

llinda, thanks so much for responding. what mom and dad need is someone who will come in about 6 hours a day so mom won't be stuck doing all the stuff. then i could do there shopping and be there and hour or two a day and there on the caretakers days off. dad was worrying they would sit around. i told him yeah they would probably bring a book but that is just the way it is.  hope things are going well for you and your new doc. how much closer are you to quit smoking?  how much closer to surgery?  hugs, vick

I am still stuck at a few a day on the smoking, but letting them burn up mostly. I take a puff or two then put it out as usual.
I am waiting on a call or an email from the surgeons office today, I may have to do my hemocults over again, but I have Dr. Cagles office on wait to send test results over as soon as they get them, if I have to do it over.
So I still dont have an appointment yet but am on the edge of my seat, ready for the call for first appointment with them.