Getting worried about weight loss and surgery in general

Hi, I am having RNY on October 8th in Bellevue, Wa.  I have great confidence in my surgeon and his team so those aren't my worries.  But, since Sunday (today being the following Thursday), I have eaten poorly at least not in accordance with the weight loss program my nutritionist put me on.  Sunday was a pot luck, and although I tried to be good, I probably went double on my calories, 1200, and was more like 2000.  Each day, we were invited to someone's house or another excuse to overeat.  Today, Thursday I'm doing much better and am back on track, I just worry that I won't meet my required weight loss of 4-7 # lost in time.

I'm also worried that I might be making a mistake-people are telling me that I'm not overweight enough to have this surgery; I've dealt with obesity since childhood-first 10#, then each succeeding decade adding another 10#, until my 40's or 50's.  Now I'm 5'1 and weigh about 185. I'm pretty confident about having the surgery, but it has me thinking.....
Thanks for any advice you can offer.  14 days and counting.

Welcome to being a normal human.  We all go through these worries and maybe even more as the time gets closer.  If you have done your research, soul searching and know the answer to your needs, then you will know.  Your weekend showed you what you do at this time.  Only you know if this is the right time and the right way.  I have faith that you will make the proper choice for your health and well being.  No one can make that choice but you.   A good way to remind yourself of portions is to choose the salad size plate, impossible to load it as much as the larger plates.

Rooting for you in your corner.  Hugs, Kathy

Thanks so much for your outlook and your friendy nature...it does a lot for me.  I like the idea of the salad plate, think I read that somewhere else today-maybe was advice to someone else from  you, will try that.  I'm pretty sure that I can stay on program, just need to keep myself away from such temptations.  I have a friend that I believe may be sabotaging me-she may not even be aware of it.  I will succeed at that.  Thanks again and hugs back at ya, Katie

katie, you are wise to be worried.  the surgery only reduces the size of your stomach and revamps your intestines so you malabsorb. it is possible to stretch that little stomach out and to just eat high calorie food.  maybe you should talk to your surgeon about this, he should know what is best for you. tell him everything, about what your friends are saying about you not weighing enough and about your inability to stay on the diet.  maybe you need more time to work on the thinking part to make sure u can follow the "rules" of wls.  i hope that u realize u did a very smart thing by sharing this with us and u help others who might be in the same boat u are. u help me, because it is easy to get off track and u remind me how important it is to stay the course.  plz talk to your doc and do some soul searching, like kathy said, only u can make this decision.  thanks so much for sharing. vick

Hi, Vicki.  I sure do appreciate your advice.  After I wrote my note this morning, I did a lot of soul searching.  I'm pretty convinced that I will be able to "stay the course" for the rest of my life.  The time is getting close, and I will talk to my doctor about my thoughts, but this surgery is right for me, I'm sure of that.  Thank you for your caring ways.  I'll see you on the losing bench :)  Katie

Hey Katie! Welcome! Vick andf Kathy gave you lots of great advice. If you didn't worry a bit, you would be extremely unusual as a pre-op. As far as your friends go, they may mean well, but they are NOT you, and may not be in your shoes with the weight, and if they are, there could be some jealousy at play as well. This is between YOU and your surgeon. Remember... First the surgeon would not do it if you did not qualify. Second, your insurance definately would not pay if you did not qualify. Your friends may truly mean well, but this is about you Always remember that!

Now about the food thing. You recognize it, you take responsibility for it. These are good starts Now YOU have the ability to deal with it differently in the future. Take your indescretions, and use them as a learning tool. These are the things that got us to where we are / were. So we know we must change them. We also know it is not easy. Our relationship with food had been developing for a lifetime. Now we have to change it. This surgery unfortunately is not brain surgery, so we have a lot of very hard work to do, for the rest of our journey. There will always be temptations, and we will never be perfect. What we must do is be our best and do our best. You sound like you really feel comitted to doing this.

You may consider therapy for eating behavior, or even a life coach, that can help you in many aspects of this journey. I am a bariatric coach, and sometimes just knowing you have that accountability to someone really helps keep you on track. I know my clients find it helpful. Seek out lots of advice and support. This group is a great place for that, and also your local wls group. It can be lots of help even before surgery.

Now... You CAN lose those few lbs before surgery. Just put your mind to it, remember how much you want this, and take it just one day or even one moment at a time. You may need to avoid some of the social scenes that involve food until later. Or go early or late, to avoid the time frame of food being served. But most of all, remember why you are doing this, and let it be your driving force. You can do this. We will be here to help you through it. One step at a time my new friend.

Big hugs to you!
Patrece