16 days botting and dotting!!!

It is 9:30 am and I am due for a serving of food. I feel nothing in my gut, but I am not starving either...just comfortable. I have had 3 dots so far today: protein, starch and fruit. I like the flexibility of choosing a food group each hour rather than following a strict plan. I talked to a dietitian last time I was hospitalized and I asked her if I ate 3 servings of each food group would that be ok? She thought about it and said sure. After all these years I know my groups and serving sizes...it's just eating them and nothing else. My house is free of trigger foods. My husband buys ice cream in an individual size container and eats it that same day. We have Viactiv and protein bars in the pantry instead of candy. For years, I seriously eat 600 calories a day too much healthy food and so instead of weighing 165 lbs. I weigh 225 lbs. I am accepting that I will never feel like I swallowed food...so be it!!!

I never in a million years would have expected this after a RNY, but crap happens. I give up thinking that some surgeon will put "Humpty Dumpty" back together again. After my RNY I don't trust surgeons anymore. He hurt me. I need to depend on myself and do whatever I can do to make myself as healthy as possible for a few more years. I have been reading the "Failed weight loss surgery" forum and there are a lot of people not happy with the surgeries their insurance companies paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for!!!! Patients blame themselves because we respect our doctors and we don't respect ourselves in the first place because we are fat, so it is our fault. I think bariatric surgeons should be required to have some sort of extra certification to do bariatric surgery. At my first support group meeting, I asked the patients what kind of training he had. One of his failing patients that worked in his hospital said that he learned on us. Later he fixed her and she did well after that. Others of us struggle. I was one of his first RNYs.

It is 8:30 pm and I made it through the day following my dot diet for the last 5 days. Even if I only lose 1 pound a week it is progress for me. I might just do this forever if it works. Tri